1: Sympathy for the Didak

THE SCENE: Deep in a bunker at the FBI's headquarters in Quantico, Virginia, a couple of nerdy-looking men – picture, say, Gerard Whateley and Anthony Hudson – are poring over the Zapruder film again. "There!" says the Whateley-looking guy. "On the grassy knoll. He's wearing a stripy thing ... like a uniform. Black and white ..."

Now that it has been confirmed that Alan Didak did kill John F Kennedy, we at The Four Points have been up all night considering what other atrocities he had committed. And in our late night delirium, we could find no better source than Messrs M. Jagger and K. Richards, who ticked off a whole swag of Didak victims in Sympathy for the Devil – Jesus Christ, bit of a gap, the Tsar and his ministers, the Kennedys (plural), and a bunch of troubadours before they reached Bombay.

2:  Simply the best

ALL THE hoo-hah about Heath Shaw's and Alan Didak's Big Night Out has obscured the retirement of the greatest footballer ever to play the game, Port Adelaide's Michael Wilson. Who says Wilbur is the best of all time? Coach Choco does, that's who.

The difference between the 2004 Power grand final team – win, 40 points – and the 2007 version – lose, ahem, 119 points – is Wilbur. "Our result in last year's Grand Final says to me that the thing we missed most that day was Michael Wilson," Choco said. "He played the rest of the year and, you saw our results all year, then Michael didn't play and it was a 20-goal result from one player."

Phew. A 159-point turnaround because of one bloke! Makes you wonder why he didn't win a string of best-and-fairests and at least nine Brownlows. To be fair, the coach did note that Wilbur wasn't going to kick or save 20 goals but his comment was, loosely speaking, a metaphor for the impact Wilson had on the playing group. If he's that good, he'll be after your job, Choco.

3: Spitting image

FOR ANTHONY Hudson's sake, we hope he doesn't have to cover another Sydney game for his many and varied broadcasting outlets this season. Why? Because he has given a nice verbal spear-tackle* to his broadcast team's driver in that fair city.

Sir Les, they call him, because of his penchant for offending minorities and for the light dusting of dandruff on his shoulders. In revenge, we fully expect Sir Les to arrive at the airport next time round with a mouth full of obscenities and half-chewed lamington, a jacket stained with dribble and a disturbingly large appendage beneath his trousers.

* Four weeks for Huddo, we reckon, without a discount for an early plea.

4: He has a dream

FOR POSSIBLY the first time ever – or possibly not, because we couldn't be bothered to check – two players will trot out for their 300th games this weekend. Shane 'Crawf' Crawford, and Andrew 'McLeody' McLeod both reach the mighty milestone with Crawford retaining one ambition.

I have a dream, said Crawf. "I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together." Well, sort of. Crawf's dream is a for a flag. Fair enough.

What to look for this Wednesday on afl.com.au

Harvs goes bye-byes. Maybe.

And speaking of 300 games and more ... big news will emerge from the lovely suburb of Linen House, St Kilda's home, on Wednesday morning. We predict it is to announce Robert Harvey's immediate retirement, to announce his retirement at the end of the season, or to announce a new contract to take him through to his 35th season.

Stuff from all and sundry

From east to west and north to south (except the far north, because we're not expecting anything from the Brisbane Lions), coaches and assistant coaches will pour forth pithy comments about the state of football. Whether we like it or not.

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL