1: A blanket statement

THE RETIREMENT of a couple of club stalwarts is always a sad occasion, especially when the pink slip has been produced and the retirees are reluctant to accept the giant farewell card signed by hundreds of people they've never met.

So it was with Melbourne's Adem Yze and Jeff White, who will unwillingly take their leave of the team of the red and the blue after round 22. We were in tears, certainly, after seeing the picture accompanying the story of Ooze and Whitey's departures.

What appears to be a photo of refugees waiting by the roadside on the Eastern Front in World War II, or more poignantly, a couple of music festival-goers who've paid $150 each to camp in the mud for two nights only to find out that the headline act is The Young Divas, is in fact the two players after the 2000 Grand Final defeat at the hands of Essendon.

Our fervent hope is that the blanky still exists. We're surprised it wasn't produced at the media conference for Yze and White, either to cover them as they left the room or as a going-away present. If nothing else, it offers a reasonable design alternative for the new Gold Coast team's jumper.

2: Medhurst's salad days

COLLINGWOOD appears satisfied with its decision to trade for Paul Medhurst – happy enough to give him a new two-year contract. But we reckon they've signed the wrong Medhurst.

We'd go after Mrs Medhurst – young Paul's mum – who sounds like a pretty feisty character. As a former employee of the Fremantle Football Club, Medhurst was asked whether he expected some flak from Freo supporters on Friday night. "I think they'll go easy on me. I wouldn't want to be sitting next to my mum though if they do boo, because they could end up with a lap full of chips or a chicken salad on them."

Apart from our reservations about the chicken salad, given that it ought to be a pie, Mrs M sounds like the sort of person you would want on your side – someone prepared to sacrifice her lunch for the team.

3: Twist and shout

ADELAIDE CEO Steven Trigg is not bitter and twisted about the AFL's father-son rule that he says has conspired against South Australian and Western Australian clubs ... even though one of the Macquarie Dictionary's definitions of "bitter and twisted' is "Adelaide FC CEO Steven Trigg". Possibly.

Nope. All's good on the father-son front. "We're not bitter and twisted at all that Geelong has eight players running around at the moment, or something of that number, who have been selected under the father-son rule and we have none. It irks us, but we don't carry it with us every day because it's done and dusted and it's inequitable," Trigg said, before running off to check whether players were doing their conjugal duties in the interests of the club.

4: Way-out west

THEY do things differently over in the west – Mrs Medhurst's food-throwing exploits are an example. But we particularly like the way that West Coast and Fremantle handle their injury lists.

Some would say that West Coast (15th on the ladder) and Fremantle (14th) will struggle to play beyond this weekend's 22nd round, but that has not dimmed the optimism. According to the Eagles, they have a lazy nine on their out-for-the-season list, but Shannon Hurn and Matt Rosa are out for "1-2 weeks". Which means, fortunately, that they'll possibly be fit for Mad Monday and the post-season beano in Phuket.

Likewise, Freo lists 10 players with season-ending injuries, but notes encouragingly that Luke Webster will only miss one week. Lucky Luke.

What to look for this Wednesday on afl.com.au

The column of all columns

Think of two things that go together really well. Like beer and peanuts. Or beer and beer nuts. Or beer and skittles. Or beer and beer. Then think of Huddo and Wednesday. See the similarities?

Foreign affairs

The International Cup kicks off at Melbourne's Royal Park, with eight first-round matches pitting all sorts of funny places against all sorts of other funny places. We're barracking for the Peace Team against Great Britain because we're still bitter and twisted, Steven Trigg-style, after the Olympics.

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL