| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | the Crows miss the finals again this year... | …those big questions need to be asked. A kick away from a Grand Final in 2012, regularly disappointing since. |
| Brisbane Lions | the Lions want to be relevant again... | ...Leigh Matthews must be appointed chairman. Now. Before nobody cares. |
| Carlton | you rock up to a Friday night blockbuster with four of your biggest names wearing long-sleeves... | ...you’re making a statement from the outset. A negative one. |
| Collingwood | you’re the man who makes way for Ben Reid when he returns from injury... | ...you have the right to feel aggrieved. |
| Essendon | we didn’t know where the Bombers were at - and let's face it, we don't... | …then the next three games will tell us. Lions, Swans, Tigers. Season-defining. |
| Fremantle | there's one thing we will do this year... | ...it will be to believe in Ross until there is nothing left to believe in. Gut - certainly not the head - says he orchestrates a win against Port. |
| Geelong | Joel Selwood isn’t an ambassador for Red Cross blood donation... | ...he should be. |
| Gold Coast | you haven't heard us all week... | ...listen now. The Suns will make the eight. Massive chance to be 8-2 after 10 matches. Dream draw already behind them, dream draw to come. |
| Greater Western Sydney | Tom Scully is grossly overpaid, and he is... | ...Callan Ward, on very nice dollars himself, may well be underpaid. Had 40 touches on the weekend. Scully toiled for 14. |
| Hawthorn | there's a downside in being drafted to the Hawks, it is that you have to bide time to make your debut. But if there is upside… | …it is that when you do, you get to play with guns and can actually dominate first-up. Nice work, Billy Hartung. |
| Melbourne | the Match Review Panel washes its hands of an incident, refuses to deal with it and sends it to the Tribunal, which determines guilt only for the Appeals Tribunal to say "nothing to see here, move on"... | ...the AFL is in serious, serious, serious mess when it comes to head collisions. |
| North Melbourne | the Roos haven’t got someone analysing them psychologically... | ...they should. Difficult to comprehend how this team could not be “up” for a game against the Suns. |
| Port Adelaide | Jay Schulz showed the kind of maturity at the Tigers that he’s showing at Alberton... | ...the Tigers may have played more finals. Used to average 0.8 goals a game, now 2.3. |
| Richmond | there's a question we need to ask right now... | ...it is this: where's Ivan? |
| St Kilda | a team gets beaten by 145 points and seemingly no one cares enough in the media to really delve into how and why... | ...that is both a good thing, but probably more a bad thing. Care factor could be becoming an issue. |
| Sydney Swans | Buddy and Kurt and Goodesy have a sense of theatre, and at least two of those three do,... | ...between them they'll kick 15 against the Hawks. |
| West Coast | Adam Simpson hasn’t booked his side in for one of Sam Newman's FARK tutorials this week... | ...he’s not doing his job. Season is slipping away, and might have already slipped away, because of choking in front of goal. |
| Western Bulldogs | you want to actually win a game of footy that has been a tussle all night... | ...you need to set-up in attacking mode at some stage. Players and coach need to share blame for last week's last quarter debacle. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
