IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 

big Reilly O’Brien can find his way into this Crows team for his first AFL match at such a late stage of the season ...

... he's entitled to dream big. Remember Aaron Keating?
Brisbane Lions
 

there is one thing the Lions need to do quick smart ...

... it is lock away Eric Hipwood for even longer than his current end-of-2019 deal. Looks very, very good.
Carlton
 

you're Andrew Walker ...

... you can be very proud of what you’ve achieved. And he was right - his grab was better than Krakouer's in 2011. As well as being better than nearly every other mark ever taken.
Collingwood
 

Cotchin truly has the courage of his convictions ...

... he'll be getting into Treloar again. But we're not sure he does right now. Loved the banter from last time these two teams met.
Essendon
 

James Kelly called it quits on Sunday, after playing against the team at which he will become a Hall Of Famer ...

... we reckon that'd be a pretty good way to go out.
Fremantle
 

you have 14 of the 22 (with three more stuck in the WAFL) available to play against an opponent you beat in a qualifying final 10 months earlier, and with Pav's big milestone also at stake ...

... something is drastically wrong when it results in a 99-point turnaround. Ross The Boss, we've held on for a long time. But no longer. We've been burnt now.
Geelong
 

you go surfing in a suit for your latest foray into the media ...

... there's been no one better in the media space. Doing it for his own amusement now, Danger.
Gold Coast
 

Tom Lynch wins the Coleman ...

... we'll be really happy for him. Memo Rocket: do everything in your coaching power to facilitate that, please.
Greater Western Sydney

 

you are going round telling people you predicted Zac Williams and Nathan Wilson to have big and season-shaping years for GWS ...

... you're a genius. Or a liar.
Hawthorn
 

clubs want to learn how to attract opposition players to their organisations ...

... they must follow the Hawks' lead and adopt the attitude of being all-in. Too many clubs dip toes in the water only. The aggression will see Hawks land one of Mitchell, Prestia, Crouch, O'Meara.
Melbourne
 

Goodwin knocked on CEO Peter Jackson's door this week to ask permission to take over as the main man as of this weekend ...

... we wouldn't blame him. Nor would we blame Jackson if he had bluntly told him to go back and do your 2016 role.
North Melbourne

Waite plays again ...

... we'll be surprised. Daw gets his chance, and he finally deserves the luxury of being told that regardless of impact, he's got three weeks in the seniors.
Port Adelaide
 		it makes Lewis Jetta feel any better ...... fair to say The Toump hasn't fared any better at his new club.
Richmond
 

you're going to hold meetings in a Malvern pub ...

... that's fine. But it gets very challenging from here. And let's see who does put up his or her hand to actually challenge.
St Kilda
 

Hurley was to join Carlisle at the Saints ...

... you're talking finals in 2017.
Sydney Swans
 

Mitchell becomes aware of Hawthorn's very real interest in Prestia ...

... he'd be entitled to seek clarity in the Hawks' full plans for himself.
West Coast
 

you keep dishing up the sort of dismal stuff of last weekend ...

... the 2016 season is going to end very quickly and very badly.
Western Bulldogs

there was one piece of news we really enjoyed hearing this week ...

... it was Dale Morris' re-signing. One of the very good players. One of the very good guys.
 And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... 
AFL

the AFL ever needed compelling evidence to reduce the home and away season from 22 to 17 rounds ...

... it has come this year. Everyone is just going through the motions now, and of the remaining 36 games, only a handful that will actually mean anything. Oh yeah, and then we shut the comp down for a week before finals. Wake us up, please, on September 2.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian