| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | the Crows taught us anything last week ... | ... it is that you need to be very careful taking injured players into a final. Hello Swans. |
| Brisbane Lions | we could compare Tom Rockliff's current situation with a reality TV show ... | ... he'd be The Bachelor looking to hand out 17 roses. |
| Carlton | the Blues need one thing as they enter the trade period ... | ... it is a gun key forward. Aware they don't grow on trees. But they must find one from somewhere. |
| Collingwood | Wellsy does indeed accept the Pies' very nice three-year offer ... | ... it looms as a key plank of what Bucks hopes, and needs, to achieve in 2017. |
| Essendon | Jobe has got his head around playing in 2017 ... | ... he may as well resume status as captain. The natural leader. Heppell can take over in 2018. |
| Fremantle | Ross wants to reclaim 'The Boss' status ... | ... he’ll land Hogan. Or Lobb. Or both. |
| Geelong | his return to a qualifying final five years after he sustained the first of his shattering knee injuries was our highlight of week one of September action ... | ... Menzel's absence from a preliminary final is our week three low point. |
| Gold Coast | you recall six weeks ago ... | ... you recall Tony Cochrane threatening to walk O’Meara to the pre-season draft if the Suns didn’t secure a fair trade. We reckon he meant it, Hawks. Better get creative. |
| Greater Western Sydney | we're going to make a big call on this preliminary final weekend ... | ... it is this: Josh Kelly will be a clear best-on-ground at Spotless Stadium. |
| Hawthorn | there's one position the Hawks need to get right ... | ...it is Chris Fagan's replacement as Clarko's minder. Clarko needs high-end minding. |
| Melbourne | the Dees get offered two draft picks inside the top eight for Jesse ... | ... they should transact. |
| North Melbourne | Brad Scott has now come out and admitted he stuffed up the handling of the Harvey situation ... | ... there's only one thing left to do: retire the No.29 guernsey until Boomer's son Cooper is drafted as a father-son. |
| Port Adelaide | Hartlett crosses town ... | ... this rivalry, somehow, will get even bigger. Bring it on. |
| Richmond | there's one thing we don't ever want to see or hear again ... | ... it is a smooth talking, smug cardiologist talking publicly about game styles and captaincy qualities. Just on that, would love to know what Royce Communications charged him for the ridiculously run campaign it oversaw. What a disaster. |
| St Kilda | there's one club positioning itself nicely for a big trade period ... | ... it is this one. Watch this space. |
| Sydney Swans | you're getting mentioned by the PM at the UN ... | ... you're having a decent week, aren't you, Aliir Aliir? Love every aspect of your football story. |
| West Coast | you can somehow conjure a way to bring in Hogan ... | ... you'll be favourite to win the 2017 flag. |
| Western Bulldogs | Hamling can add Cameron to Kennedy and Gunston, a couple of A-graders he has already shaded in this year's finals series ... | ... he goes from being a Geelong discard to tripling his salary next year. |
| And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... | ||
| AFL | you look closely at the going-ons at Brisbane Lions in the past month ... | ... you'll see fingerprints all over the Noble and Fagan developments. Those fingerprints belong to Mark Evans. And they are the right developments. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
