Smiley face T-shirts
After enduring their annus horribilis in 2018, the Crows put their collective minds together. They vowed to bring back the fun, so the Crow stares have been replaced by the joyous smiles and ready laughter of coach Don Pyke and his Merry Men. We hope it lasts, but we sense that might be determined by their win-loss record.
A worthwhile alternative to Fortnite
Mitch Robinson recently became the first active AFL player to sign with a professional esports franchise (which, for the uninitiated, compete in video game competitions), his strong suit being the worldwide sensation Fortnite. Robinson has been a good soldier for the Lions but they won't want his attention being diverted from footy by staying up late in front of a screen on the couch; and they probably won't want him cajoling Lion cubs to help him save the world from zombies, lest they become zombies themselves in their waking lives. The club somehow needs to distract them from that distraction. Tennis, anyone?
Robbo with the 2nd dub in a row. @MitchRobinson05 w/ @SynqOCE & @YaBoyParpy https://t.co/V0teDsVI1w pic.twitter.com/vnlFUSqqc5
— The Chiefs Esports Club (@ChiefsESC) December 4, 2018
'Doc' to finally avoid the docs
For the second time in 12 months, Blues star Sam Docherty ruptured the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee in an innocuous pre-Christmas training mishap. So it'll be cause for celebration if the new co-captain can get to next Christmas without any further setbacks.
'Billy' Elliott to dance again
Pies small forward Jamie Elliott has the potential to be a 60-goal superstar and an amazing addition to the 'Swoop Squad', but his career appears in jeopardy given back and hamstring injuries have grounded the high-flyer in two of the past three seasons. Elliott left the track early on Tuesday in the club's final training session before Christmas and the club says it was just a precautionary measure. Hopefully the three-week break has come at a good time.
Joe to regain his mojo
If Joe Daniher can recover from chronic osteitis pubis, it might be the difference between the Bombers being contenders and pretenders. But all isn't lost for the Dons if big Joe doesn't come good. When he succumbed to groin issues in round seven they were 2-5, but went 10-5 thereafter. The Bombers haven't won a final since 2004 – the longest active drought – but they reckon that if they can get Daniher fit and firing, Shiel be right.
Joe Daniher feels the pinch during another tough pre-season session. Picture: AFL Photos
Some Saintly inspiration
Dockers coach Ross Lyon doesn't expect his new key forward duo of Jesse Hogan and Rory Lobb to play like club legend Matthew Pavlich, but we bet he'd love them to develop into a combination resembling his old St Kilda mates Nick Riewoldt and Justin Koschitzke. The mobile 'Hoges' could model himself on 'Rooey', and 'Lobby' could play the 'Kosi' anchor role. If they can pull it off, 'Ross the Boss' will be a step closer to finally winning a premiership. It also might inspire the notoriously defence-first coach to unleash a bold, new, attacking game plan.
A beautiful back-flip
No, we're not referring to Gary Ablett's latest party trick, but his wantaway midfield mate Tim Kelly. The one-season sensation from Perth was unsuccessful in his bid for a trade to West Coast for family reasons, but the Cats won't give up hope that they can convince the mature-age marvel to stay in Sleepy Hollow.
A coach's hotline
The AFL's decision to limit the use of team runners has done a runner on the poor old Suns. Their co-captains quit the club, leaving their inexperienced list more exposed than Queensland golf legend Greg Norman in his most recent photo shoot. With runners now not permitted to pass on coaching instructions at will, Gold Coast's youngsters are going to need some extra help. We suggest the players secretly wear earpieces to receive orders from coach Stuart Dew. The volume might need to be turned down on occasions to prevent long-term hearing loss.
Better get your message across now, Stuey, because it won't be easy in the heat of battle. Picture: AFL Photos
Kelly's signature
Just 15 months ago Giants star Josh Kelly finally put an end to the speculation by rejecting huge contract offers from rivals including North Melbourne and recommitting to the Giants to the end of 2019. And now Kelly appears set to play the should-I-stay-or-should-I-go game all over again. (Cue that song by The Clash.) Last time he stayed hoping to win a flag, but since then the Giants don't seem as assured of success. Don't discount the mate factor but everyone has their price. They also need to lock away Stephen Coniglio.
A change of heart from Cyril
Hawk hearts mourned when four-time premiership genius Cyril Rioli retired at 29 in July to return home to Darwin. It wasn't long before rumours swirled that Brisbane, via former Hawks in Luke Hodge and coach Chris Fagan, and even Essendon (which has long rued its monumental blunder of not drafting him in the first place) would attempt to coax Rioli into making a comeback. In dismissing the speculation, Rioli left the door slightly ajar, saying that if he was to make a comeback – and he wasn't planning on it – it would only be at Hawthorn. It's a long shot, but Christmas is the time to dream.
An exorcism
It's hardly dripping with fuzzy Christmas sentiment but it is a practice that has been carried out by Christians. Simon Goodwin and his team need to cast out their demons after they became possessed by West Coast in the preliminary final at a ghoulish Optus Stadium. Rumour has it that for research purposes they watched 1973 horror film The Exorcist – and it hasn't exactly filled them with optimism.
How will the Demons deal with the bitter end to their thrilling finals campaign? Picture: AFL Photos
At a time like this football is very much pushed to the background as we pray for a return to health for Majak Daw.
The benefits of Cahill
John Cahill is a Port Adelaide immortal and the family legacy continues after his son Darren, a renowned tennis coach, was appointed to the Power's board of directors. Darren Cahill guided Andre Agassi, Lleyton Hewitt and current women's champion Simona Halep to the world No.1 ranking, and Port fans are hoping his guiding hand will also help lift their club back to the top of the AFL ladder.
Lynch to do a Mason Cox
It sounds ridiculous to suggest that arguably the game's best power forward should look to a novice from America for inspiration, but the Tigers know only too well the influence the big-marking 'American Pie' had on their shock preliminary final exit. They'd expect Lynch to have a similar influence in perhaps a handful of games in 2019 and help lead them back to the promised land.
2019'S BIGGEST STORIES When the American Pie lit up the 'G
McCartin mcstartin' to dominate
Key forward Paddy McCartin, the No.1 draft pick of 2014, has had a rough time of it with the Saints, playing 35 games in four years after struggling for form and fitness and battling injury, including concussion issues, while managing his diabetes. We've heard various reports over the years about how he has slimmed down, beefed up, gained a yard, etc., and now we'd all just love for him to become the player he promised to be.
A fitter, leaner Paddy McCartin is keen to make up for lost time. Picture: AFL Photos
An SCG fortress
The Swans' squishy home ground was a stronghold from mid-2013 to the end of 2016 when they posted a 28-5 record at an intimidating strike rate of 85 per cent. Since then John Longmire's men have gone 13-11 at just 54 per cent, and they have won just one of their past five games there. Perhaps alternating the coin toss between their three captains – none of whom are Lance Franklin, this year's All Australian captain – will provide a change of luck.
A triumphant return for Nic Nat
Last year the Eagles were granted their wish for some young midfielders to step up after the loss of veterans Sam Mitchell and Matt Priddis, and one of those youngsters, Dom Sheed, even nailed one of the great Grand Final goals to give the club its third flag – so the Eagles don't want to be greedy. They'll settle for Nic Naitanui making a strong return from his second knee reconstruction to lead West Coast to back-to-back premierships.
Twin towers
The Bulldogs have manufactured the rare scenario where their two chief forward targets are No.1 and No.2 draft picks: Tom Boyd and Josh Schache, respectively. Now to get both young men to click together and perform to their enormous potential. If man-mountain Boyd can recapture something approaching his heroic 2016 Grand Final form and Schache can continue his development, the Dogs will have their bark back.
