THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is here, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

some of my favourite footy stories are those of journeymen ...

THEN ...

great to see Chris Burgess bob up in round one, 2024 as Texan's replacement. Thirty-six games in five years at Gold Coast, the past two Frosty Miller Medals as leading goalkicker in the VFL. Would love him to kick a bag on Saturday.

IF ..

there was a player the Lions could least afford to lose for the year ...

THEN ...

it was the one they've lost for the year. Kiddy Coleman was going to be a sharp point of difference in 2024, a creative thinking, risk-taking, regularly clean ball user who was only just beginning to realise he could be elite.

IF ...

as of Thursday 10pm the Blues had two wins in the 2024 season when 10 teams hadn't even played one match, and were making holiday plans to take in their week-three bye ...

THEN ...

they're rolling beautifully. Particularly with North Melbourne their next opponent after that break, and with Walsh and Weitering recovering nicely from injury.

IF ...

it was, say Darcy Cameron or Brody Mihocek, and not Mason Cox who last week found himself encroaching the space of the opposition in the pre-match warm-up ...

THEN ...

there would not have been one second of media coverage, let alone the dozens of misplaced opinions. There's very few who can generate a story like big Mason. And I hope he doesn't ever feel the need to conform and be like every other player.

IF ...

the selected team for the first game of a new season has Goldstein as ruck and Setterfield ruck-rover ...

THEN ...

that's not the midfield combo I envisaged. Where's Hobbs?

IF ...

the Dockers truly believed their own words: "We believe in what we are building here" ...

THEN ...

they would've added three or at least two years to the coach's contract. Not a meaningless one. Leadership of the 50-cents-each-way variety.

IF ...

there's resident Geelong gods in Danger and Hawk and Stewart and Jez and Blicavs and Duncan for Saturday's season opener at the Cattery ...

THEN ...

there's also a 26-year-old unknown by the name of Shaun Mannagh. Murray Bushrangers, Werribee, Richmond VFL, Chirnside Park, Lavington and North Albury all listed on a footy CV. What a story.

IF ...

there's been a lot of change at the Suns under Dimma ...

THEN ...

one point of difference which has escaped fanfare is the transition of Sexton from a forward to a backman. Twice the leading goalkicker of this club in a 12-year career, now being used in defence. I like it, as he has always had footy smarts.

IF ...

Greene, Brown, Hogan, Daniels and Cadman are serious ...

THEN ...

they will help the Giants amass 30-plus goals against the North Melbourne backline on Saturday.

IF ...

Jack Ginnivan has always had a sense of theatre and loved a big stage ...

THEN ...

in his new brown and gold costume and in front of a near-full MCG on Saturday he will no doubt seek the spotlight at some stage.

IF ...

there's ever been a team which needs a win ...

THEN ...

it's this one. Negative narratives everywhere, on-and-off field. Over to you, yet again, Big Maxxy.

IF ...

it was Sheezel and Wardlaw in 2023 ...

THEN ...

it's set to be McKercher and Duursma this season. Both will debut on Saturday, against GWS. The future could be OK. But the now remains a major concern.

IF ...

there's one team which I simply cannot get a read on as it enters 2024 ...

THEN ...

it is this one. Under Kenny, I'm normally upbeat about it, often tip it to finish top four. But I have it outside the eight this year. And even if it beats West Coast by 15 goals on Sunday, I won't have any clarity.

IF ...

the previous Richmond coach took 10 matches to get his first win, way back in 2010 ...

THEN ...

the new one also seems headed for a rocky start. Yze now none from two. But if the Tigers maintain the heart displayed Thursday night against Carlton, coming after a first-up drubbing and just a five-day break, and then having three players go down early, all will be OK. A performance full of Tiger pride.

IF ...

Liam Henry stays fit ...

THEN ...

there is no reason he can't be the recruit of the year. Has genuine X-factor in a team which needs that quality.

IF ...

the Swans were the first team to properly place a hard tag - albeit with only minimal effect - on Nick Daicos ...

THEN ...

I expect them to do so again on Friday night. What a game this will be. Tipping the Swans to go 2-0.

IF ...

certain people and organisations in Perth - hello to you, the West Oz newspaper!!! - have been trumpeting Harley Reid as the next Santa ...

THEN ...

only two more sleeps now until their Christmas Day.

IF ...

the forward line looks stacked on paper ...

THEN ...

the backline still looks weak on paper. I realise it's all about "team defence" these days, but this is where the vulnerability lies.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Swans were given total player payments relief for losing Paddy McCartin to a medical retirement ...

THEN ...

the Demons will, too, for losing Angus Brayshaw for the same reason. Probably right up to $3 million worth of relief.