THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

the Crows' endeavour and preparedness to have a crack could not be questioned against Melbourne on Thursday night ...

THEN ...

ball use, creativity, skill and footy nous certainly could. A mini-disaster is unfolding here.

06:28

Highlights: Adelaide v Melbourne

The Crows and Demons clash in round four

Published on Apr 4, 2024

IF ..

in the first three matches Charlie Cameron had kicked 8.3 and not 3.8 and if big Joe and Eric had held onto marks ...

THEN ...

the Lions would be at least 1-2, maybe 2-1. Their problems are fixable. But the entire team needs to start playing on instinct.

IF ...

you recall Gather Round 2023 ...

THEN ...

you'll remember the Blues being embarrassed against the Crows at Adelaide Oval, in what was the beginning of a dreadful two-month stint. They return to the venue 12 months later a very different organisation.

08:20

Highlights: Adelaide v Carlton

The Crows and Blues clash in round five

Published on Apr 13, 2023

IF ...

there are intriguing match-ups throughout the Gather Round fixture ...

THEN ...

the one with most intrigue for me is the final one – Pies v Hawks late Sunday. Very keen to see how 'Bruz' greets Ginni, both pre-match and the first time he has to tackle him.

IF ...

the Bombers can fly out of Adelaide with another four premiership points, courtesy of what will have been a tough win against a good opponent at a hostile venue ...

THEN ...

I'll be an 'Essendon Edge' believer. Really liking what I'm seeing, but I need to see more, starting with Port Adelaide on Friday night.

IF ...

the big boys down back with the big profiles, Alex Pearce and Luke Ryan, are getting the deserved focus ...

THEN ...

don't forget the lesser lights. James Aish, Jordan Clark, Josh Draper playing very nice roles, too.

James Aish after the R3 match between Fremantle and Adelaide at Optus Stadium on March 29, 2024. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

there's no Danger and no Guthrie ...

THEN ...

no problems. The Cats will welcome back those guns the moment they regain fitness, but in their absence they are becoming a more rounded football club with genuine premiership aspirations. 

IF ...

Jed Walter was unleashed in round three and more Academy guns in Ethan Read and Will Graham, as well as Sam Clohesy, to be unveiled in Gather Round ...

THEN ...

the future is here. Really brave selections. Dimma clearly ultra-comfortable with his youth.

Sam Clohesy, Ethan Read and Will Graham will make their AFL debuts for Gold Coast in round four, 2024. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Tom Green is on a path to becoming the best midfielder in the comp ...

THEN ...

he will love the challenge he's got on Sunday in, of all places, Mount Barker in the Adelaide Hills. Head to head with Matt Rowell. Bring it on.

IF ...

the human headline, otherwise known as Jack Ginnivan, has played just 45 matches, been part of a premiership, overcome a drug "scandal", only recently turned 21, and been the single cause of the AFL changing a rule in 2022 and then further complicating that rule in 2024 – in just his third game at his second club ...

THEN ...

if he somehow survives another 45 matches, he will surely have official status as the most talked about AFL player ever!!

IF ...

you’re playing footy 12 days after breaking three ribs and cracking a vertebrae ...

THEN ...

you're superhuman. If you're among the very best players on the ground in a brilliant win under those circumstances, you're in the clubhouse, six shots clear, in the Most Courageous Performance stakes. Steven May can't be beaten. 

01:01

Lockdown leaders: May and Lever shut the gate

Steven May and Jake Lever prove why they’re one of the most feared defensive duos with another formidable display

Published on Apr 4, 2024

IF ...

Toby Pink survives his 2024 AFL baptism ...

THEN ...

he might become a good player. But what he has been subjected to this year, straight out of the SANFL, has been almost unfair. And now omitted for Gather Round, with Comben back.

IF ...

Port Adelaide's opponents on Friday night have a new 'Edge' ...

THEN ...

surely that will bring out even more fire in Zak Butters. The Power need to make a stance here, they can't allow the Bombers to dictate proceedings.

IF ...

it's not the norm for a club to offer its captaincy role as part of contract negotiations ...

THEN ...

in Richmond's case, doing so to Liam Baker would be worthy of deep consideration. He'd be really, really good at it. And he wants it, too.

IF ...

this is going to sound harsh ...

THEN ...

so be it. Max King's absence due to a needless suspension last week cost the Saints a win against Essendon.

IF ...

Sam Wicks was given a club-imposed one-week break ...

THEN ...

I wonder this: if he was one of the Swans’ top-five rated players, would he have been given the break? In sports selection vernacular, he was expendable. The break has ended, and no senior team recall.

IF ...

I hear "priority picks" or "draft assistance" or "assistance package" ...

THEN ...

as Terry Wallace once famously said, I'll spew up. North Melbourne shouldn't have got assistance last year, the Suns shouldn't have got it prior to that. No more assistance packages, please! The rest of the competition shouldn't have to pay for individual clubs' incompetence. And the national drafts before the entry of the Tasmania Devils are already scheduled to be a mess.

IF ...

Bont never complains about carrying an injury ...

THEN ...

don't expect him to make any noises about his latest ailment, believed to be an ankle/lower leg issue. He just gets on with everything, every single week.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

South Australia is contracted to host Gather Round until 2026 ...

THEN ...

surely Tasmania gets the 2027 booking. With Andrew Dillon on record recently saying the Devils will have AFL entry in 2028, what a perfect way to set that scene.