STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.
With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.
So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT
IF ...
Izak is back after suspension ...
THEN ...
look out. The Crows' most exciting, and in my eyes, best player. He's built for the Friday night lights stage he's got in round two. And he owes his club a very big game, and season.
IF ..
the Lions screamed back to win a premiership after registering a four-win, six-loss, one-draw scoreline after their opening 11 matches of 2024 ...
THEN ...
0-2 to start 2026 ain't a problem! That said, wouldn't want any more injuries or suspensions.
IF ...
the AFL in its wisdom had the Blues playing on the first two Thursdays of the home-and-away season and not thereafter for 17 days ...
THEN ...
it is both strange and probably beneficial to the Blues. Fell in against the Tigers in round one. Looked like they needed a break, just two matches in. I'm not yet writing them off, yet, being in the wildcard final hunt, though.
IF ...
Bobby Hill has returned to Magpies headquarters ...
THEN ...
that's fantastic. But he's not going to be in proper match condition for at least two months, maybe longer. Hope the Pies are hanging in on the wins-losses tally when he does return.
IF ...
the Bombers don't positively respond against Port Adelaide on Sunday after round one's embarrassment against Hawthorn ...
THEN ...
it's going to be yet another very, very long season.
IF ...
Hayden Young keeps breaking down ...
THEN ...
the Dockers need to properly reassess what they're doing with him. Has happened way too many times now. This guy is a gun, arguably the point of difference on whether this club can win a flag this year.
IF ...
there's one thing I wish would cease immediately ...
THEN ...
it is any form of criticism of Shannon Neale. Yeah, I get it. He's not Tom Hawkins. But no one is nor will be. Neale is good and getting better every season. Still three matches short of 50, and with 74 goals to his name, including a match-winning five against the Dockers last week. By the way, that's nine goals more than Tomahawk booted in his first 47 matches. Just give Neale the time he deserves.
IF ...
the word in brackets after Matty Rowell's name on the injury list is, simply, 'finger' ...
THEN ...
it's obviously a very serious finger injury. Yet to play since being crowned a Brownlow Medallist. Won't be seen for while yet. And weirdly, not yet needed by this flag-contending team.
IF ...
Clayton Oliver's disposal tally, 26, last week in round one was exactly the same as opening round ...
THEN ...
it wasn't nearly as effective. Needs to step up again on Saturday, against St Kilda.
IF ...
Jack Gunston's career looked shot after his one season with Brisbane in 2023 ...
THEN ...
three seasons later, and at 34 years of age, it looks like it may never end. 4.1, 5.1 against GWS and Essendon in Opening Round and round one, and another 4.4 on Thursday night versus Sydney. Still can't believe he couldn't get a game in the opening two matches last year and then booted 73 goals for the season to earn an All-Australian jacket.
IF ...
Brody Mihocek was 25 years old before an AFL club, Collingwood, gave him a chance at the big time ...
THEN ...
at 33, and now at his second club, his footy story just gets better. Have loved the way he's gone about every single play in 160 matches. Pound for pound, one of the toughest in the comp.
IF ...
North has had at least a half dozen false revival dawns since it last went near the finals, in 2016, ...
THEN ...
it simply must follow its very good win against Port Adelaide with another W versus West Coast. The Roos have been granted the easiest early-season fixture, and must capitalise on it.
IF ...
Kenny was still coach ...
THEN ...
imagine the fair-weather supporter pile-on this week, after the round one drubbing by North Melbourne. It would have been brutal and endless. Pressure on Josh Carr to rectify last week's lethargy and, on the home deck, beat Essendon, on Sunday.
IF ...
the Tigers are very clearly still ensconced in rebuild mode ...
THEN ...
they still don't want to leave wins on the table. Should have beaten the Blues in round one. And it happened a few times last year. Need to develop killer instinct ways as they wade through setting up the future.
IF ...
the smart alec, cryptic, cutting, surly and dismissive Ross Lyon from Thursday's media conference is back for good ...
THEN ...
good, Cuddly Ross was an imposter. Not entirely sure what Ross meant when he said, "If you want 'normal', then you step to the other side of the microphone and the other side of the fence on the ground, and you pursue mediocrity in your life". Interesting, given Ross chose to stay involved with footy by dabbling on the other side of the microphone for three years between getting the heave-ho from Freo and starting a second stint at the Saints. Whatever. The Saints need the old Ross The Boss. And Ross, very desperately, needs a win. Bring on Saturday, versus the Giants.
IF ...
Heeney and Gulden were available to play against Hawthorn on Thursday night ...
THEN ...
the Swans probably would have won. But the footy records don't care about that. Heeney will be back soon-ish. Gulden will be back very late-ish, which is a very big problem.
IF ...
some clubs were gifted soft matches to open the 2026 season ...
THEN ...
not the Eagles. Gold Coast on the Gold Coast was always going to be in the 'ouch' category, and certainly proved to be. North Melbourne at Optus Stadium will not be easy. No match is for these woeful Eagles. But it's a lot less fearful than Gold Coast.
IF ...
Sam Darcy doesn't jag six in the round two Friday night lights game against the Crows ...
THEN ...
I'll be surprised. Built for Adelaide Oval. And no obvious match-up for him.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
I'm aware of the complications and complexities with early season AFL fixturing, particularly with the need to showcase the game in NSW and Queensland ...
THEN ...
I'm also certain the 2026 model is not the way forward. Five matches in opening round, nine in round one, seven in rounds two and three, and eight in round four. Not until the sixth weekend, which is actually only round five anyway, do we get back to nine matches. And now Hawthorn, after round two, gets an 18-day break before its next match.