STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026. 

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

I can't question the Crows' general endeavour in all matches ...

THEN ...

I can question their fortitude. They just do not win a match they're not expected to win, even when they could. And they lose too many they should win, including a couple of finals at Adelaide Oval last year. This may sound harsh given their lack of personnel, but missed another opportunity to take a genuine stand on Thursday night against the Cats at the Cattery.

IF ..

the Lions have made the past three Grand Finals and won the past two ...

THEN ...

they normally wouldn't care for bragging rights against a lowly team that very rarely makes finals. But after an off-season war of words with St Kilda, there is a lot at stake at Marvel Stadium on Saturday. 0-2 this year. No Andrews, no McCluggage. They're going to need to be at their best.

IF ...

the last time we saw the Blues seemed an eternity ago when they struggled, and were arguably lucky, to beat Richmond ...

THEN ...

I'm anticipating a 17-day break – extraordinarily coming between games two and three – will have provided the goods for a re-set, and impetus to defeat Melbourne on Sunday. 

IF ...

seemingly everyone is writing off the Magpies ...

THEN ...

not me. Sure, they don't rack up big scores. Sure, they don't have a scary forward line. Sure, they're old. But they've got Nick Daicos as well as a coach who refuses to lie down and a pride that is empowering.

IF ...

it's not in Brad Scott's nature to wield a selection axe even after multiple embarrassing performances ...

THEN ...

it's time his players paid back that respect. There will be nowhere to hide for those players and the coach at Marvel Stadium on Saturday night, against an equally embarrassing and disappointing North Melbourne. 

IF ...

The Bont has been my favourite player since 2016 and The Chad also a favourite since 2022 ...

THEN ...

I'm adding Murphy Reid to the box trifecta. Just 26 matches into his AFL career, Reid is as smooth a mover as any in the game and getting better with every quarter he plays. Love his footy smarts. Seems unflappable. Speed to burn. Kicks goals. Looks like he's been playing for 10 years.

IF ...

you want to keep questioning the Cats ...

THEN ...

stop being silly. They just win lots and lots of matches every single season, don't miss finals. Well, they have missed finals only three times in 23 years. And they very rarely lose at the Cattery. Won two to date there in 2026, against premiership aspirants Freo and Adelaide, and have eight more games there. They'll be there, yet again, in a prelim final at the very least.

IF ...

Ethan Read has played just 28 matches ...

THEN ...

game No.28 was clearly his best. Four goals against Richmond last weekend. And 11 marks, including some really nice old-fashioned, pack-mark clunks. Just scratching the surface of what he will become.  

IF ...

there are a lot of problems with this football club right now ...

THEN ...

Sam Taylor's latest hamstring problem is the biggest. His absence from this team leaves as big a hole as any player in any team. And now fellow key defender Jack Buckley finds himself in concussion protocols after a typically courageous act in the final 30 seconds of last week's loss to St Kilda. 

IF ...

Josh Battle was a Hawthorn All-Australian defender in 2025 and James Sicily also one in 2023 ...

THEN ...

Tom Barrass seems primed for the same gong in 2026. His round two performance against Swan Charlie Curnow was close to defensive perfection.

IF ...

99 per cent of the 250-match milestone focus will be heaped upon Big Maxxy ...

THEN ...

that, as always, will be OK with Tom McDonald, who also happens to reach that occasion this weekend. That's in keeping with how McDonald has carried himself through 16 seasons. An excellent Melbourne Football Club person, and very important in the premiership drought-breaking year of 2021.

IF ...

Clarko has won just 12 of his 61 matches in charge of North Melbourne ...

THEN ...

he simply must make it 13 on Saturday night. Oversaw yet another ordinary performance last Sunday, letting go a 30-point lead against West Coast. There are zero excuses for him against the embarrassing Essendon.

IF ...

Jason Horne-Francis is able to regularly replicate his round two performance against Essendon ...

THEN ...

he'll win a Brownlow. But it is a big "if". I love the way he plays, and love his confidence when he's on song. But he's yet to do it consistently, and that's largely because of a banged-up body. Hopefully last weekend was the start of something very special.

IF ...

the Tigers are obviously a work in progress and have clearly decided to play the long game via an injection of youth ...

THEN ...

I'm still not convinced it is all guaranteed to come together down the track. And I'm very worried about what the Dockers might do to them on Saturday afternoon in Perth.

IF ...

after all the argy-bargy words, as well as money thrown at a lot of players, during the off-season there is such a thing as a perfect world for the Saints ...

THEN ...

at Marvel Stadium against the now-hated Lions, Nas racks up 35 touches and boots four, TDK runs wild, Silvagni keeps Morris goalless, Ryan jags four and Flanders holds his own against Neale, Dunkley, Ashcroft and Berry. Saturday is a very big day for St Kilda and Ross The Boss. Cannot wait to see how it unfolds. Reckon the Saints are a sneaky chance, too.

IF ...

Plan A was to use The Chad more as a forward ...

THEN ...

Plan B, forced upon Dean Cox after another unfortunate Errol Gulden breakdown, is to have him back in the guts. Which might be a blessing in disguise.

IF ...

24 years ago a teenager by the name of Chris Judd used round two of an AFL season to announce impending greatness ...

THEN ...

Cooper Duff-Tytler might have just done the same last Sunday in the corresponding 2026 fixture. Wow. What composure, skill and footy smarts, all packed into an imposing 200cm frame.

IF ...

the worry was, and will continue to be, whether the key position backline combo of Lobb-O'Donnell-Khamis was able to stand up to the fiercest of pressure ...

THEN ...

so far, so good, not a concern. Khamis is developing beautifully.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL has been very public about its pursuit of "games of consequence" ...

THEN ...

its review of the three seasons (2024-26) of an Opening Round will be comprehensive. I understand the ideology behind focusing on the growth markets, but from day one, I never understood the ideology behind excluding not just clubs but states from the first weekend of the real stuff. It's hard to comprehend that the Hawks, at round three, are currently resting in an 18-day break between matches. And equally difficult getting one's head around there being just one occasion in the first five weekends of football that all 18 teams are involved.