STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

one of the oldest footy adages is "when you cross the white line, there are no excuses" ...

THEN ...

that's the way it must be, unfortunately, for Riley Thilthorpe in 2026. But, very clearly, he has excuses this year. His back is just not right. Looks very proppy.

IF ..

Thursday night on the home deck against Geelong was really bad ...

THEN ...

from a premiership perspective, no need to worry. 6-4 is fine, compared with the 4-1-6 (win, draw, loss) scoreline of 2024 after 11 matches in 2024. Went on to win that year's flag as well as the one after that.

IF ...

Simmo, Kenny and Horse will all have a level of interest in the now-vacant Carlton coaching job ...

THEN ...

they'll nevertheless be merely dancing round their public words as they manage media conflicts of interests and in Longmire's case, a paid club role as well. And my view has always been that Blues CEO Graham Wright, who will be the ultimate determinant of the new coach, will head down the same, untried-senior coach path that he did at Collingwood after Nathan Buckley was exited. First call then was to Sam Mitchell, who used that approach to leverage the ousting of Clarko at Hawthorn. And then he settled on Craig McRae, who made a prelim final in year one and won a Grand Final in year two. That's the Wright model.

IF ...

I personally have zero problems with Pendles raking in multiple hundreds of thousands of AFL-approved, outside-salary cap dollars via the many and varied marketing arms linked to his record-breaking game No.433 ...

THEN ...

several other football clubs understandably have many problems and questions. Those clubs would love to see the official dollars attached to the Pendlebury playing contract for 2026. Those clubs have been wondering if that number is very low, given the special dispensation granted for the milestone moment.

IF ...

round nine produced another loss, against GWS for an eighth defeat of the season ...

THEN ...

it also saw the continuation of Peter Wright having a genuine crack, and Archie Perkins showing some positive signs. There are signs of hope here.

IF ...

HokBall was the big thing of 2024 ...

THEN ...

in 2026, it's Wharfie Time!! What a fantastic stadium activation. Lights, bells and the iconic Acca Dacca blasting through the speakers. And Murphy Reid, Luke Jackson, Josh Treacy, Hayden Young (out injured this week), Shai Bolton and Caleb Serong to make it all work.

IF ...

Shaun Mannagh was 28 when he won the 2025 AFL Coaches Association's Best Young Player award ...

THEN ...

well, yeah, whatever. But what a story of toil that this guy possesses. And after a slow start to his third season in the AFL, has absolutely exploded into form. Five goals on Thursday night against the Lions at the Gabba. Twelve goals in his past three matches. His is the type of AFL story I love most.

IF ...

the Suns in Darwin 'home' matches are on a nine-win roll, with the Power to come on Saturday night ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why this club's powerbrokers want to scale back that arrangement. It has been a fortress, TIO Stadium.

IF ...

the last time the Giants played the Eagles Jesse Hogan booted nine goals ...

THEN ...

unfortunately Jesse won't be at Optus Stadium on Sunday. He's so banged-up this year. Giants should still win easily.

IF ...

Caro somehow brought herself to confect some outrage over AFL.com.au's use of Subway Surfers on a TikTok video this week – that's right, a TikTok video aimed at teenagers, Gen Z and younger millennials ...

THEN ...

there's every chance she'll feign indignation over another left-field promotion this week. 99 per cent of others will probably embrace the Wizard Bay, in M29 at the MCG on Saturday. What a brilliant initiative. He loves casting spells, does Wizard. He's clearly given it the tick. Sounds magical.

IF ...

M29 is to become Wizard Bay at the MCG on Saturday ...

THEN ...

M57 will be the Pickett Pocket. I love this Demons-Hawks promo within the fight for four premiership points. One bay, with a Wizard, versus one pocket, with two Picketts.

IF ...

George Wardlaw has now reached 45 matches ...

THEN ...

his next 45 are going to be very, very special. He's been immersed in battles with injury and concussion, this No.4 pick from the 2022 national draft, but, touch wood, he seems to be through that.

IF ...

you're into the coulda-shoulda-woulda game ...

THEN ...

the 3-6 Power coulda-shoulda-woulda be 7-2. A two-point loss to Bulldogs in round nine followed a one-point Showdown loss in round eight. And that was after a three-point loss to Hawthorn in round six, and an extremely bewildering two-point loss to the Eagles in round three.

IF ...

there is no Nas and Cal Wilkie might be as sore as Derm in the '89 Grand Final ...

THEN ...

maybe the Tigers are a chance on Sunday. But maybe not.

IF ...

the Tigers are next up ...

THEN ...

the three assignments after that are highly problematic, particularly with Nas unavailable for at least three. Fremantle, Hawthorn, Sydney. And GWS and Western Bulldogs after that. We'll know the Saints' finals credentials by the end of round 15.

IF ...

we've now got a Pickett Pocket and a Wizard Bay ...

THEN ...

surely next up is The Chad Pad. Or Lizard Lounge. Or Heeney High-Line. Or Grundy Grid. Maybe even Justin Time.

IF ...

Fitzroy was killed off in 1996 and University was killed off in 1914 ...

THEN ...

the Eagles won't ever be killed off. But their record since 2021 is worse than those two dead teams. Here we go. In the final 104 matches of Fitzroy, it won 25. In the final 104 matches of University, it won 17. In the past 104 matches of West Coast, it has won 13. An historically unmitigated, embarrassing mess.

IF ...

Libba has played just four matches this year and none since round six against Geelong, and now Tim English is also out, like Libba, with concussion issues ...

THEN ...

this is seriously jeopardising the Bulldogs' push for a high-end finals berth. It might even be jeopardising a finals berth.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

Dimma wants to take a moral high ground against the AFL for taking a deal with a wagering company ...

THEN ...

that's his right. No drama if Dimma wants to play moral crusader. On gambling. But last time I checked it was legal to wager on sport. And he might want to check which companies his own association, the AFLCA, has as major partners right now, because one of those companies certainly isn't flavour of the month inside certain sections of the AFL industry, either.