| If | this weekend's game against the Bulldogs was considered a gimme before team selection ... |
| then | it's far from that now. Tex, Gov, Crouch joining other big names out injured. It's a crisis. |
| If | one more person says this is the best 0-8 team ever ... |
| then | we'll threaten to do a Terry Wallace and throw-up. Time to actually win a game of footy. |
| If | Jed Lamb keeps sledging everyone he comes across ... |
| then | that's fine. That's his decision to make, and the AFL nor the AFLPA, clearly, will never seek to outlaw it. But he needs to be more aware than he seems to be that, when he crosses the verbal line, he'll cop some back. |
| If | he was becoming extremely frustrated to the point of anger with exclusion from the senior team ... |
| then | Fas will be happy this weekend. Good to see him back. |
| If | you think sacking an assistant makes all the problems go away ... |
| then | you'd better think again. But we know you know that, and await more necessary changes. |
| If | the Dockers want to shake the doom settling on them ... |
| then | Walters and Wilson returning is a good start. But so much more needs to happen on so many levels. |
| If | Paddy wants to voice an opinion about the confusion created by the umpire contact shambles ... |
| then | he has every right. People need to loosen up. Yes, he's a Cat, and yes, he's president of the AFLPA. He wasn't making this a Geelong thing. |
| If | there's a lottery over there in Shanghai ... |
| then | Steven May should buy a ticket. Should not be playing this week. |
| If | you look at the raw numbers ... |
| then | this is near-crisis. With injuries mounting, the Giants have kicked just 31 goals in the past four matches. Premiership window about two centimetres open. |
| If | Sicily attempts to rough up Hodgey ... |
| then | he will officially become our new No.1 favourite. The way he's wired, reckon he won't be able to help himself. Go James, do it. |
| If | Jack Viney doesn't maim someone this weekend ... |
| then | we'll be both glad and surprised. Like a caged animal who's been let out, watch him ferociously make up for lost time. Bad luck, Blues. |
| If | Cunnington played for Hawthorn or Collingwood or Richmond ... |
| then | he'd have competition-wide cult status. |
| If | we're sceptical, and yes we are, and we don't apologise ... |
| then | we ain't buying the sell that this China game works on any level. |
| If | you've got a family dinner booked on Sunday ... |
| then | cancel. Now. Only one place to be. In front of a TV by 4.40pm AEST. Tigers v Eagles. A Gunfight at the O.K Corral-style game of footy coming your way. Can. Not. Wait. |
| If | you've got any fight, any pride, any willpower ... |
| then | show it this Saturday against Collingwood. |
| If | there's two better ins for a game of footy in this 2018 season than Bud and Hannebery ... |
| then | it might only be Rance and Martin, or Danger and Joel. |
| If | you start the round on the fifth line of premiership betting ... |
| then | can you finish it on the first? Probably not. But if you do as we expect and comfortably beat the Tigers, the flag dream is officially alive. |
| If | Dale Morris is fit to play footy ... |
| then | he shouldn't be playing VFL. This warrior shouldn't be wasting whatever matches he has left in his banged-up system at the lower level. |
If
you look up "shambles' in a 21st century dictionary ...
then
there are headshots of two Curnows, Hawkins and May. And also Burton.
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