IF the game is finally cracking down on player dissent ... THEN

IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors has returned for 2022 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT

Check it out below, and don't forget to catch the latest episode of AFL Daily while you're here.

IF ...

Ben Hart was 17 at the start of his debut season in 1992 and made that season's All-Australian team (and then equally extraordinarily retained his position the following season) ...

THEN ...

why can't another Crow crack it in a debut AFL season? Josh Rachele making all the right moves right now.

IF ..

the Lions' premiership campaign is looking very nice right now ...

THEN ...

it will be looking a whole lot nicer when Eric Hipwood returns from a knee reco sometime around the bye period. Will want for nothing at that point.

IF ...

the Carlton-Freo match is the round six one I'm most excited about ...

THEN ...

the battle within the battle I'm really looking forward to is Adam Cerra v Andrew Brayshaw. Best mates for the four years they were together as Dockers. Enemies on Saturday night.

Adam Cerra and Andrew Brayshaw after being drafted by Fremantle in 2017. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Pendles during the week offered this observation on the player dissent issue engulfing the game: "No offence, but I feel like the media is the last group to understand it" ...

THEN ...

no offence back your way, Scott, but you've got absolutely no idea of what you're talking about. This has not been media driven. This has been umpire and player driven. 

IF ...

Stringer and Merrett are back ...

THEN ...

that's a potential game changer. Stringer is this side's most important player. As bad as the Bombers have been to this point, they've got the same scoreline as this time last year, 1-4. That became 2-6, and they still made finals. Anzac Day Monday has become massive.

IF ...

the Dockers watched their crosstown rivals the Eagles crumble in the off-season and early parts of 2022 due to COVID and its related protocols ...

THEN ...

they're nervously monitoring their own operations right now. Chapman and Young out this weekend, fears more will follow.

IF ...

Danger isn't right, which Chris Scott alluded to in his typically cryptic way after Monday's loss to Hawthorn ...

THEN ...

I'd be resting him until he's near 100 per cent. Just hasn't been the same since his serious ankle problems of early last year.

IF ...

this season needs a result that no one saw coming ...

THEN ...

a Suns win in a QClash would be just that. Time to make a big statement.

Sam Collins and Joe Daniher clash in the R19 match between Gold Coast and Brisbane on July 24, 2021. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

respect for umpires was the biggest on-field issue to emerge out of round five ...

THEN ...

what a week for Toby to return, after a six-week ban for contact with umpire Matt Stevic late last year. The walking headline maker gets a Friday night lights slot first-up. Nice scheduling by Travis Auld.

IF ...

the Hawks' brilliant win against Geelong on Easter Monday was a high point to an already promising season ...

THEN ...

a low moment was the shoulder injury to ruck Ned Reeves. Very unfortunate, as he was covering nicely for Ben McEvoy.

00:51

IF ...

the 2021 season was one for the ages for the Demons ...

THEN ...

2022 is shaping just as nicely. On a 12-match winning streak (round 20 last year to round five this year), officially the second-best consecutive-win series in the club's history. Now chasing down the 19 in a row over the premiership seasons of 1955 and 1956 when Norm Smith was coach.

IF ...

Nick Larkey is just two goals behind the Coleman Medal leaders ...

THEN ...

that's incredible, given his team has scored the fewest points and conceded the second-most.

IF ...

the captain Tom Jonas stated as fact that "we will win" against West Coast in round six ...

THEN ...

the fun begins right now in delivering on that pledge. Absolutely love the boldness, but I fear the potential fallout.

IF ...

they were gone after round one (loss to Blues) and premiership contenders after round two (win v Giants) and gone again after round three (loss to Saints) and flag contenders again after round four (win v Dogs) and gone again last weekend (loss to Crows) ...

THEN ...

it's going to be that sort of year for the Tigers. Can't see them getting near the Demons on Sunday night. But I can see them in the eight at the end of the season.

IF ...

Brett Ratten had acted on the advice of Nick Riewoldt and David King after round one ...

THEN ...

he would've axed Jack Higgins, who had committed the apparently unforgivable act of failing to handball in the heat of the moment. Glad Ratten stuck with his own intel. Ten goals in the three games he has played since (he missed round four with concussion), including five against the Suns last week, Higgins has been as crucial as any Saint in their blistering surge.

02:25

IF ...

many clubs are missing many easy shots at goal ...

THEN ...

not this one. 74.42 for the year. Isaac Heeney the benchmark with 14.2.

00:42

IF ...

we've got to round six and the Eagles are up to an 11th debutant for the season ...

THEN ...

that's Gold Coast in 2011 and GWS in 2012 kind of stuff. Ruckman Luke Strnadica the latest, in for Saturday's match against Port. Up to 41 players used on the year.

IF ...

I was coaching this club ...

THEN ...

I'd be sticking Bont in the goalsquare permanently, at least for the next month. It would scare the living daylights out of opposition coaches. And he'd kick eight one day.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the game is finally, and properly, cracking down on player dissent via words and actions ...

THEN ...

don't stop there. Time to also penalise players every time they attempt – through arm movements - to intimidate umpires in paying holding-the-ball and insufficient-intent-to-keep-the-ball-in-play free kicks.

04:04