THE MELBOURNE players' recent mid-air scare in Darwin - which saw the cabin begin to fill with smoke before an emergency landing saved the day – underlines what I've always known - I hate flying.
It doesn't matter if the plane has perfect temperature control, I begin to sweat like a murderer under a policeman's spotlight.
When the engines accelerate and scoot up that runway and into the air, I hold on to the armrests as hard as I can, which always seems to make frequent flyers around me put on this stupid grin.
I start to feel a bit better when we are through the clouds and onto the food cart (cheese, crackers and a drink, please), but I just know the bumpy ride isn't far away as we start to descend.
I think it's a fear I'll never quite get over, and stories like the one Demons players will tell forever and a day just make me jumpier.
And if I hear one more nitwit give me another stat about how it's safer in a plane than a car I will vomit in my mouth.
For the last time - you're a chance to survive a prang in a car but the same couldn't be said when you're 10,000 feet in the air - hence the apprehension to board.
Speaking of potential plane crashes, North Melbourne's season goes from bad to worse with another nosedive against the Lions last week.
It leaves the boys from Arden St 11th on the ladder, so their game against the Blues (ninth) on Friday night is like an elimination final.
The last time the teams met (round 16, 2012) there wasn't even a hint of surrender by the Kangaroos, leading by just under 20 points halfway through the third quarter before pushing out to win by 53 points.
A few of their stars seem to play very well against Carlton, meaning happy days for AFL Fantasy sides which contain North players, and especially those with livewire forward Lindsay Thomas in their line-up.
Thomas, returning from a two-week suspension on Friday night, seems to bring first class form when facing the Blues. In his past three matches against the navy jumper, Thomas has averaged more than 107 AFL Fantasy points a game, including a whopping 165 in round 12, 2010.
Compare those figures to his season tallies since playing his first game back in 2007 - where he has not managed to finish any year with an average of more than 70 - and you realise how well he travels against Carlton.
If North finds itself in a turbulent position with Carlton flying home, let's hope it levels out, puts its tray table in an upright position and records its seventh win of the year.
Mr Fantasy's trade recommendations
Ins: Tom Sheridan (Fremantle), Nick Malceski (Sydney)
Sheridan – originally from Victoria – has been impressive in his first three games for the Dockers and looks set to keep his spot as his side's injury curse continues. His breakeven score is minus two this week. Malceski has scored fewer than 97 points only once since round eight.
Outs: Clinton Young (Collingwood), Aaron Sandilands (Fremantle)
It looks as if Young couldn't have started his career as a Magpie any worse, succumbing to another hamstring injury. The former Hawk has averaged 53 from two games this year, so offloading him for his original price is a bonus. I'd get rid of Sandilands before his price takes a big tumble after this week.
Up Next I'm feeling 'stuffed', admits Goldstein