STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2025. 

With the 2025 Toyota AFL Premiership Season heading towards a dramatic conclusion, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

Josh Rachele had been doing nearly everything right this season ...

THEN ...

it's shattering he could be out for the remainder of it with serious knee injury. Averaging three shots-plus at goal per game this year. A two-goal average. Was only beginning to scratch the surface of his prodigious talents. A very big loss. Hope he gets back for September.

IF ..

the Lions have made the past two Grand Finals ...

THEN ...

they are doing absolutely everything right in attempting to make it three from three. So professional on Thursday night against the beleaguered Blues. 

IF ...

we all lauded big Charlie in 2022 and 2023 when he was winning Coleman Medals ...

THEN ...

I have no idea what has happened to that player. I realise the delivery to him has been abysmal, but he now has stage fright around goal. Hasn’t kicked one in the past four matches, and has horrendously missed some chances. 0.9 in that stretch. 

IF ...

Jamie Elliott hasn't already done enough to secure an inaugural All-Australian jacket ...

THEN ...

surely he doesn't have to do much more. Top four in the Coleman Medal race with 41. At the peak of his brilliant, old-fashioned footy-brain powers in season No.14.

IF ...

fitness guru Andrew Russell was given the heave-ho at Carlton last year ...

THEN ...

watch him being linked to the Bombers as they wade through all the stages of their 2025 season high-performance debacle. 

IF ...

I tipped the Dockers to reach the Grand Final in pre-season predictions ...

THEN ...

I'm not abandoning them just yet. Clearly, they're the most vulnerable of the established nine gun teams. Saturday night's match against Hawthorn arguably the most important of coach Justin Longmuir's six seasons in charge. Tipping a Dockers win.

IF ...

Bazlenka took a swipe with Sherrin in hand at Jarman Impey at the MCG in round six ...

THEN ...

he was encouraging a swipe of a far different nature this week. The walking headline used social media to promote Tinder. Swipes right going at 100 per cent. Apparently.

IF ...

Friday night lights will be beaming at Carrara in round 18 ...

THEN ...

what a moment for this club. As CEO Mark Evans said to AFL.com.au this week, people on the Gold Coast have not just been talking about this match against Collingwood for a month, they've been bemoaning not being able to get a ticket to it. Predicting Bailey Humphrey will jag four.

IF ...

reigning Coleman medallist big Jesse has had bags of nine, seven, six and four (twice) this season from his 12 matches ...

THEN ...

he’s a massive in for Saturday’s game against the Cats. 

IF ...

the Hawks "rushed" Calsher Dear back into their team way back in round 10 and then pushed him back to the VFL ...

THEN ...

he's surely right for a sustained crack at it now. Back for Saturday night's massive game against the Dockers. And there's pressure to perform, with Mitch Lewis taking very nice steps on yet another comeback path.

IF ...

'Trac wanted out last year ...

THEN ...

he's probably going to want out again. Along with a few other teammates. All the publicly volunteered "love" and "connection" certainly hasn't resulted in wins, just five of those entering round 18. 

IF ...

Larkey and LDU are the outs ...

THEN ...

that's some serious quality absent for Sunday's match against Melbourne. But it should not stop North from believing it should win. They're playing a team which has just two more premiership points after 17 rounds. Surely not another "nice" loss. Surely not.

IF ...

Sam Powell-Pepper smashed his right knee in round seven last year and smashed his left knee in round 17 this year ...

THEN ...

what a shattering two seasons for a player who is so loved by his club. 

IF ...

there's going to be genuine excitement about Taj Hotton making his debut ...

THEN ...

the inclusion of Jayden Short for Saturday night's match against Essendon is also big. While they've lost their past seven matches, the Tigers, and nine of their past 10, they're not without a sneaky chance.

IF ...

the Saints were 3-1 ...

THEN ...

they're now 5-11. They keep talking themselves up, but they keep losing. Well, 10 of the past 12, anyway. Getting into the North Melbourne zone of being comfortable with "nice" losses.

IF ...

the Swans have won three of their past four ...

THEN ...

even without the again-injured Tom Papley and full-forward Joel Amartey they should beat the Saints on Sunday. 

IF ...

Tim Kelly has been axed for a round 18 match, having also been axed in round five ...

THEN ...

I have zero idea why the Eagles felt the need to recently re-contract him through to the end of 2027. 

IF ...

Rory Lobb has been very good this year and James O'Donnell is tracking beautifully given he has just 41 games behind him ...

THEN ...

the Bulldogs' backline remains its major area of concern. A massive challenge against the Crows on Saturday.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL's main competitor, the NRL, has the blockbuster luxury of four "Grand Finals" each season (three State Of Origin matches and the actual premiership season decider), and with that competitor rightly choosing to schedule all those "Grand Finals" in primetime TV slots ...

THEN ...

no idea why the AFL continues to fixture its only Grand Final on the one day and timeslot that no club ever seeks, Saturday afternoon in broad daylight.