IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.

So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

there were five players (Sheezel, Ashcroft, Owens, Amiss, Wilmot) ahead of Max Michalanney in this year's Rising Star award 

THEN ...

no reason this Crow can't challenge the best of the crop. Was fantastic in his debut season, played with responsibility beyond his years.

IF ..

there were some players entitled to be disappointed with failing to make the All-Australian team ...

THEN ...

none moreso than Joe Daniher. Played as true to the centre half-forward post as anyone all year, jagged 51 goals, and nearly six marks a game.

IF ...

in the space of the past two seasons Charlie Curnow has established himself as a Blues great ...

THEN ...

icon status will be his if he somehow leads this club into a Grand Final. Of all players about to enter this year's finals series, King Charles looms as the most intriguing.

IF ...

Josh Daicos should have been All-Australian last year 

THEN ...

he simply could not be denied in 2023. There may be bigger names in the best-of '23 team, but none more deserving of a place in the 22.

IF ...

David Barham this time last year burst open the saloon doors, tossed out some token bad dudes into the horse trough, then pulled the gun out of the holster as he proclaimed he would take over the joint ...

THEN ...

nothing has actually changed. The same-old Essendon bar room tension still at play, Sheedy and Dodoro in the back corner, still calling the shots.

IF ...

Jesse Hogan resoundingly won the NAB Rising Star in 2015 with 44 goals ...

THEN ...

Jye Amiss with 41 goals was arguably unlucky to place just fourth in the 2023 count. No questioning of the credentials and talents of the three above him (Sheezel, Ashcroft, Owens), but 41 goals for a team which finished 14th is a seriously good performance.

IF ...

there's going to be a team which produces an out-of-nowhere, shock trade this year ...

THEN ...

it is the Cats. Andrew Mackie no doubt working on something very big that no one knows about.

IF ...

Dimma has gone all blue-sky on this club ("80 per cent of our next premiership side" is already Suns-listed, he said, on the day he was publicly unveiled as the new boss) 

THEN ...

regardless of his genius, I'm still seeing dark clouds. Nowhere near the flag chances.

IF ...

Toby was built to play finals and already has 11 behind him, many of them in the top-shelf category (2021, 2019 and 2018 elimination finals, 2019 semi final, 2016 preliminary final)

THEN ...

coming off being named All-Australian captain, final No.12 is poised to be next level. 

IF ...

the Hawks approach this year's trade period with a view to the next season being one in which they could win a heap of matches, as opposed to the last trade period where they approached it from the opposite vantage point ...

THEN ...

no reason the 2024 season couldn't be one where finals are at least challenged. Got gun key position players down back (Sicily, and rapt he was rewarded with All-Oz selection) and up forward (Lewis), and two gun midfielders (Day, Newcombe). And a heap of others who are tracking nicely.

IF ...

the coach and captain were as out-of-sync on-field as they clearly are off-field when it comes to public commentary on Brodie Grundy ...

THEN ...

the Dees would not be up to their eyeballs in becoming the 2023 flag winner. Recently Goody, effectively, said Grundy was done. Maxxy, effectively, said the Grundy project had life. Unless there is an injury crisis, I'll be backing Goody's version.

IF ...

seemingly every single person attached to every club which has missed finals is physically and emotionally spent, and wants a break 

THEN ...

not Clarko. He's only getting warmed up in 2023, after the home-and-away season has finished. Having rightly taken a chunk of time-off to deal with mental and physical problems, and off a final round win which was effectively a middle finger to those who suggested this club should've thrown the game (hello Hutchy!), he's already into overdrive on 2024 plans.

IF ...

ever there was a player poised to take over a finals series on sheer willpower 

THEN ...

Zak Butters. Cannot wait to see him run out onto the Gabba on Saturday week. Eyes will be rolling in that controlled way. Old-school sporting killer instinct. Compelling to watch. 

IF ...

it's obvious that high-end key defenders don't grow on trees 

THEN ...

it's also obvious this club needs to cultivate one, or go and buy one. Nothing will change unless it does, regardless of who ends up as coach.

IF ...

you stop to analyse the Callum Wilkie story ...

THEN ...

it is one of the great ones. Disregarded by all clubs, in four national drafts. Taken in the 2019 rookie draft. A thoroughly deserving place at full-back in the 2023 All-Australian team.

IF ...

the last time The Chad played in a final at the MCG he was the standout Swans player in a disastrous Grand Final loss ...

THEN ...

despite a 2023 season which hasn't been anywhere near as brilliant as 2022, he looms as the Blues' most worrying opponent next Friday night. Built for the big games.

IF ...

Adam Simpson has been issuing a lot of thank you's this week ...

THEN ...

his biggest one would surely have been to Eagles director Justin Langer. The former Australian cricket coach knows what it's like to be abandoned by those who once had your back. No doubt he played a key role in allowing Simpson to at least enter the 2024 season.

IF ...

The Bont has been rightly recognised by his peers as the most valuable player in the game for the second time in three seasons ...

THEN ...

hopefully the Brownlow Medal votes reflect that view. No player would be more deserving of a Brownlow.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

it was ridiculous that James Sicily had a round 13 incident heard at the Tribunal after the completion of round 14 (the Hawks had a bye in round 14) ...

THEN ...

it is equally ridiculous that Toby Bedford will not have his Sunday, August 27 incident heard until Monday, September 4. And what if Bedford fails in that Tribunal hearing? Would the appeals tribunal then sit on Wednesday, September 6, just three days before the Giants play their final, and 10 days after Bedford played? Thought the finals teams were meant to be able to reset and refresh in the post home-and-away season weekend off. Bedford hasn't been able to. And my many-years-long question here, too: why do we have three post-match layers (Match Review Office, Tribunal, Appeals Tribunal) to the AFL judiciary system anyway? All proudly "independent" of official AFL operations, the latter two bodies dominated by legal, non-football people and debate. Surely this can be streamlined and brought into 2023 standards under Laura Kane's watch.