STEVE Johnson has revealed the frustration of being sacked by Geelong, describing the day he was shown the door as an "embarrassment".
In an extract from his upcoming book 'Stevie J: The Cat with the Giant Story', Johnson describes how his relationship with Geelong coach Chris Scott declined as the 2015 season wore on.
With Geelong wrestling over a decision on Johnson's future, the 14-year veteran said Scott struggled to look him in the eye.
Johnson said he pleaded his case to Scott and Steve Hocking, saying unproven players like Jordan Murdoch, Darcy Lang, Cory Gregson and Daniel Menzel were far bigger risks.
But at a training session in the lead-up to the final round, Johnson had a sinking feeling.
"I was standing next to Cameron Ling, who was doing some work with our player leadership group when I saw Chris Scott walk up the race and on to the field," Johnson said.
"I looked towards Scotty, but he just turned away. My stomach churned. 'Oh shit,' I muttered. He couldn’t look at me. I reckon I’ve just been given the arse.
"Not long after the session wrapped up, I was tapped on the shoulder by Steve Hocking.
"He asked me to come for a chat. I had a sick feeling in my stomach.
"The meeting only went for 15 minutes but it felt like an hour. Hock looked me in the eye and delivered the news. 'We’re not going to offer you a contract for next season,' he said.
"I tried not to show any emotion. I knew there was nothing I could say to change their minds, so I just had to cop it on the chin.
"I asked them why I was not deemed up to getting another year.
"The answer was something along the lines of them not being comfortable with me playing the majority of the following season in the VFL.
"I was in a bit of a state of disbelief. Then the reality of the situation dawned on me.
"My lip started quivering a little bit as I looked around the room. I shook their hands and walked out.
"I didn’t want to be bitter at that moment, but I was. I had been sacked from my job.
"I’m a pretty proud person, and I still felt I was capable of doing my job.
"But I was embarrassed that my bosses had lost their belief in me. It was a crushing feeling."
Johnson later went on to explain how Scott went around to his place later that afternoon and the pair shared a six-pack of beers and discussed what had happened.
"There’s no doubt Chris found it really difficult to have to push three of us (Mathew Stokes and James Kelly) out of the club," Johnson said.
"I think he probably found himself thinking, 'Who am I to show these blokes, who have given everything for the club and played in so many premierships, the door?'
"I thought it showed a lot of character for Scotty to come around to my house. I was really impressed by that."
