Take my league – the CFL – for example. There are the Mayors (whingers), the Bloods (even bigger whingers), Edmundo (pests), the Spuznuts (hacks), the Silverbacks (pretenders) and the bizarre, unpredictable Prophets (who, for reasons known only to themselves, use only six or seven trades per season and started the year with Will Schofield).
The personality of each team is partly determined by the identity of the coach and what they have done in life. In the CFL, it’s a mixed bag. Some of us have played some pretty good football (two at VFL level and another couple on the fringes of AFL) and others have played some pretty poor football (one coach was so bad at passing by foot or hand that he simply ran with the ball until caught, racking up 23 possessions and zero disposals in a university game and earning himself the nickname ‘Ballllll!’)
Two of our coaches are sports writers, three are lawyers, two are authors, one’s a doctor and another studied statistics at uni and seems to think this helps.
The massive difference in football knowledge can make clashes interesting. After all, there’s nothing worse than getting rolled by a coach who then turns round and asks: “You get six points for a goal, right?”
What’s in a name?
You can get a bit of an idea about the personality of someone’s Dream Team by checking out its name.
You’ve got your stock standard boring kinda name: Dan’s Dream Team
Standard but aggressive: Dan’s Destroyers
Standard plus a touch of bogan: Dan’s Deadset Legends
And then all out war: SuckOnThisJerkwads
Before you go with the latter option, you should at least be able to back it up on the field. There’s nothing sadder than stumbling across a team in the Eliminator called Izzy’s Invincibles who average 1400 a game and have Wayde Skipper as their number one ruck.
This week’s question
Choosing a decent team name is part of the fun of Dream Team and it’s interesting picking through other leagues to see what people have come up with.
For example, one league I know called ‘The Hacks’ has members including Team Burgertron, Count Juddular, Juddimus Prime and, my personal favourite, The Flatsac Bacharachs.
This week, I want you to send in your favourite team names to dreamteam@afl.com.au, making sure to put ‘Hindy’ in the subject line. I’ll run the best answers in next week’s column.
Thanks for all your responses to last week’s question “I knew I was too trigger happy with the trade button when…”
I myself knew when I hit the ‘Accept Luke Hodge’ button during the initial, frantic lockout period, and Dylan Vale knew when he traded in both the wrong Ablett and the wrong Riewoldt.
Seriously, man – that is woeful.
Cheers,
Hindy
CEO and coach of the Hindsight Mayors
