IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		Sando can devise a way to overcome the loss of Big Tex, which follows the exit of Tippett, and gets this team back into the finals …… he deserves coach-of-year status. #noTexnoCrows
Brisbane Lions
 		Vossy is coach of the Lions in 2014 ……  he will have produced a miracle in what’s left of the 2013 season. #miracleshappen
Carlton
 		Jarrad Waite stays fit, and that is a massive “if” …… watch the glint return to the eye of Mick Malthouse. #historysaysno
Collingwood
 		more footballers spoke as openly as Scott Pendlebury …… the game would be better. #speakyourmind
 
Essendon
 		the Bombers this weekend against GWS play to the standards they’ve shown in the five matches of 2013 …… it will win this one by 30 goals. #lookoutthiscouldgetrealugly
 
Fremantle
 		the Dockers applied any sort of logic to the thought processes around heading to the tribunal with Fyfe …… they wouldn’t have headed to the tribunal with Fyfe. #whatweretheythinking
Geelong
 		there’s been a better trick-bag than that belonging to Stevie J in his 199 games …… maybe, just maybe, only Gary Ablett senior can lay claim to it. #takingthepi55
Gold Coast
 		the Suns want us to believe them when they say they are on the improve …… this weekend’s match against a depleted Dockers is one they just have to win. #actionslouderthanwords
GWS Giants
 		Tom Scully doesn’t start to show some real form …... the Giants need to justify why they’re wasting millions of football industry dollars on talent. #HelloIzzy
 
Hawthorn
 		Brian Lake had been a Hawk for the past two years …… this club right now would be seeking a third consecutive flag. #whatcouldhavebeen
Melbourne
 		Peter Jackson emerges from his time as Dees CEO as the level-headed, clear-thinking person he currently is …… the Loch Ness monster exists. #nightmareahead
North MelbourneLindsay Thomas could market the magic formula which has transformed him from goalkicking choker into goalkicking dead-eye …… he would become an overnight millionaire. #ianbakerfinchwouldhavelikedsome
Port Adelaide
 		David Koch can fix the Power so quickly and easily …… look out Julia Gillard, the man is capable of absolutely anything! #nothinghecannotdo
Richmond
 		Jack Riewoldt listens to the narks calling for him to change his ways …
 		… the game will be in a far worse place. #stickitupemJack
St Kilda
 		the Saints really are on a long-term rebuild …
 		… they are obliged to consider trading midfield guns Nick Dal Santo and Leigh Montagna. #winwin
 
Sydney Swans
 		Sam Reid and Lewis Jetta continue their peculiarly terrible form …… John Longmire won’t hesitate in dropping them next week. #whatshappened
West Coast
 		Nic Nat has been rushed back too early …… there will be hell to play for those who made the decision. #maybewaitonemoreweek
Western Bulldogsthe Bulldogs don’t show something, anything, by way of improvement against West Coast this weekend after Round 4’s embarrassment against the Crows …… their fans will rightly give up any hope for 2013.