IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		IF we thought we'd seen everything ...... it became obvious we hadn't until this week. Big Texan versus Nick Kyrgios. On Twitter. Seriously, what has happened to this world?
Brisbane Lions
 		you publicly threaten to match a free agency offer and publicly threaten to walk a player to the pre-season draft ...... it all looks very hollow, respectively when, and if, you don't.
Carlton
 		you actually look closely at this club's playing list right now ...... it's scarily light on talent, goalkicking options and hope. And not much is going to change before trade deadline, either
Collingwood
 		you land Treloar, Howe and Aish in the one trade period ...... you've done very, very nicely. And in so doing, and after two underperforming seasons, you've made making the finals non-negotiable.
Essendon
 		you saw a bloke doing high fives and clicking his heels every time he saw someone this week ...... it was probably Adrian Dodoro
Fremantle
 		we're going to make a big claim before the year is out ...... it is that new Docker Harley will win the Brownlow in 2016.
Geelong
 		you pay overs for players ...... so be it. Once you identify them, and they identify you, just go and do the transaction. Class act, the Cats, as always, and with minimum fuss. Hello, St Kilda.
Gold Coast
 		the Suns had their time over again ...... we reckon they’d have refrained from the wham-bam press conference, which effectively sacked Harley. Left them with zero leverage on trading out a player who has Brownlow Medal talent.
Greater Western Sydney

 		CEO Dave Matthews is so keen for Treloar to end up anywhere other than Collingwood ...... he probably should tell everyone, particularly Eddie, why he's taken that stance.
Hawthorn
 		you're Hawthorn and you're bored ...... hey, let's go and embarrass St Kilda. And even if that doesn’t work out in the end, there’s still nearly a week of trade period remaining to make another club also feel inadequate.
Melbourne
 		you think pick 25 is overs for Jake Melksham ...... so be it. The deal is done. And we're backing it to look very good by this time next year.
North Melbourneyou try for lots of big names and come up blank  ...... you probably shouldn't throw a first-round pick at an unproven talent just to get someone in the door.
Port Adelaide
 		there's a lesson to be learnt by this club this week ...... St Kilda provided it. The Power can't allow the Charlie Dixon deal to get too convoluted.
Richmond
 		you try for lots of names and come up blank ...... you probably shouldn't publicly throw mud at one of those players who said no to you.
St Kilda
 		you spend the night flirting with someone everyone else wants, and when the lights go on and that certain someone surprises everyone, including even you, and says yep, we're going to your place ......you don't, under any circumstances, linger at the door and allow the big stud to wander over and say, in deep, controlled, all-knowing voice: "Hey babe, now what's going on over here?"
Sydney Swans
 		Jetta goes out and Sinclair comes in ...... by trade period judgments, it's about as even as it gets.
West Coast
 		Sinclair and Rosa go out and Jetta and Redden come in ...... by trade period judgments, it too is about as even it gets.
Western Bulldogsthere's something that makes more and more sense as the days unfold ...... it is the joining of Matty Suckling with the Bulldogs.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian