IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		we're still not sure how good the Crows actually are ......  we'll know in five weeks. Swans, Hawks, Dockers, Dogs, Cats. Yep, we’ll certainly know by then.
Brisbane Lions
 		you're going to attack Joel Selwood on his home patch ......  you're braver than most. Haven't always liked Robinson's actions, but admired his pluck last week.
Carlton
 		Patrick Cripps can win a best-and-fairest in his second season ...... Jacob Weitering can win it in his first.
Collingwood
 		you win just three of your past 14 home and away matches ...... something is seriously wrong. And yet four of the next five games loom as very winnable.
Essendon
 		you're Dyson Heppell ...... you're more than justified in suing your club for a lazy mill. Maybe more.
Fremantle
 		you're Michael Barlow ...... you're probably thinking of that trade possibility six months ago.
Geelong
 		we're Chris Scott ...... we're resting the banged-up and foot-sore skipper in this one.
Gold Coast
 		you were told pre-season that after round three a Suns player would be averaging 36 touches, four tackles, seven marks and a goal  ...... unless you're a liar, there'd have been zero chance of you predicting that player was Aaron Hall.
Greater Western Sydney

 		you find yourself this weekend in one of those pub debates about the players absolutely crucial to a team's chances ...... nominating Shane Mumford would take some beating.
Hawthorn
 		we were in charge of the Hawks ...... we're not playing Luke Hodge with his smashed-up arm this weekend. We'd be saving him for the big game next Friday against the Crows.
Melbourne
 		we've been over the top in our footy love for Bernie at two clubs during the past seven years ...... it's only right we clip him after that needless, albeit softish, head hit on Macmillan last weekend. The Dees wouldn't want to lose this one narrowly, Bern.
North Melbournethere's no Mundy and no Sandi ...... you just have to win against the Dockers. Particularly when a rejuvenated Gold Coast and real-deal Western Bulldogs then await.
Port Adelaide
 		there was something we just couldn't embrace during the week ...... it was Port's "we'll play a game in China but we need another club to be the 'home' team" announcement. Then again, the AFL's international pursuits have been so successful to date, so maybe China will work as spectacularly as South Africa and New Zealand.
Richmond
 		you're Richmond and you've made the past three finals series and you then say publicly after round three that you may have to take a half-step back ...... you've lost control of what's going on.
St Kilda
 		Riewoldt plays this week ......well, he shouldn't. And don't care what the tests say.
Sydney Swans
 		Danger is the best recruit to this point of 2016 ...... Sinclair is a close No.2.
West Coast
 		there's a coach statement we've really liked this week ...... it was Simmo's taunting of Vickery. Love the old-school, public build-up to this game.
Western Bulldogswe're going to make one crazy call for this round of footy ...... it is that Stringer will kick 12.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian