IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
something doesn't change soon ...... Brad Crouch's time at the Crows will be up at the end of the year. And that may be a blessing for him. There is significant Victorian interest.
Brisbane Lions
 
you go back to round 23 last year ...... you'll remember Josh Green had 16 kicks, six marks, five tackles, four goals against the Dogs. This week he's been dropped from a one-win team to the NEAFL.
Carlton
 
Matty Kreuzer ever gets a fair crack at an injury-free run ...... he will show why he was a No.1 draft pick. But, he probably won’t.
Collingwood
 
 a player misses three matches in five weeks with a concussion, despite playing and not having a head knock last week ...... we're asking questions. Something going on with Ben Sinclair.
Essendon
 
you're cheering after a round eight loss ...... we can only imagine the party you'll have when you secure the No.1 draft pick.
Fremantle
 
the AFL isn't asking proper questions about what is going on at the Dockers right now  ...... we won't be surprised. Wouldn't want to delve too deep into how a team can open with a 9-0 scoreline in 2015 and 0-8 a year later. Starting to look like Collingwood of 2005. And we did nothing then, too.
Geelong
 
the Cats don't cover the six-goal-and-a-bit line in this game against the Pies ...... we'll be surprised.
Gold Coast
 
Ablett didn't get a head knock late last weekend ...... we're thinking he might have missed this week with general soreness/rested reasons anyway.
Greater Western Sydney

 
you go back to this time last year ...... you'll be aware the Giants had the same 6-2 scoreline. There's something very different about the 6-2 of 2016. It has real substance. There is no chance it will end at 11-11.
Hawthorn
 
we initially thought there would be a game of football that just didn't matter to this mighty club ...... it was Friday night's. But we've continued to think about it, and also of what has elevated this club above all others on all levels. And it does indeed matter, no matter what the scoreline ends up being.
Melbourne
 
you've been a great defender of the 2013 deal that secured Tyson and Salem but gave up access to Kelly  ...... you're more than entitled to be happy. But the past four weeks might have taken a lot of wind out of your sail.
North Melbourneit was all going beautifully ...... there's some worries now. Higgins, Wells, Jacobs. As long as Goldy can walk, though, everything will stay on track.
Port Adelaide
 
the Eagles have rightly earned topweight status in the AFL's flat-track bully stakes ...... this club has saddlecloth No.2.
Richmond
 
you missed it ...... we'll remind you. Dangerfield did 44 pre-match interviews last week, and 37 post. Well, something like those numbers anyway. Which is why we're still shaking our head after seeing the winning-goal-after-the-final-siren man, Sam Lloyd, doing just one all-in presser the day after.
St Kilda
 
you want us to buy into the vision ...... you need to start winning. And certainly stop losing in three-figure margins.
Sydney Swans
 
there's one player we're glad to see back in the AFL this weekend ......  it is Gary Rohan. But we're nervous for him, too. His past four games against the Hawks at the 'G read: six touches and subbed out (R8, 2015); seven touches (2014 GF); nine touches (R18, 2014); three touches (qualifying final, 2013).
West Coast
 
you lose a sixth straight game on the road, and this one against a side that is really struggling ...... don't dare bristle about the flat-track bully tag.
Western Bulldogsyou're coming up against a forward line of Cameron, Stevie J, Patton, Lobb and Whitfield without Adams, Johannisen, Murphy, Boyd and Suckling  ...... look out. But then again, you do have one of our all-time faves, Morris.


Click here for more Sliding Doors

Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian