IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		this club is the very-real deal like we think it is ...... it will do a number on the Demons on Sunday. But as much as we think it is, is it?
Brisbane Lions
 		Rocky stops talks about his future and other clubs start inquiring about that very future ...... something's not right.
Carlton
 		the Blues beat the Pies twice in a season ...... it is a very good season for the Blues.
Collingwood
 		you're Jesse White ...... you're going to be pretty peeved. Couldn't have done too much more this year in an ordinary team, and now axed. Proof that the rumours are right that the club is happy to trade him.
Essendon
 		Zach Merrett isn't a very, very good player one day ...... we'll be surprised. Tracking very, very nicely.
Fremantle
 		the Dockers again in 2016 dish up the rubbish they did against Collingwood last week ...... even we will jump off the 'Ross The Boss' train. And that, to this point, had been unthinkable. Ross The Boss, this hurts … you're on notice.
Geelong
 		Motlop, as brilliant as he can be, doesn't improve on last week's ordinary efforts against the Saints ...... we're pretty sure Chris Scott won't hesitate in making a statement.
Gold Coast
 		there's ever been a game where an already-star announces himself as a superstar ...... this one looms as that game for Tom Lynch. Ten goals here we come. Maybe 12.
Greater Western Sydney

 		Giants-listed players Cam McCarthy and Devon Smith had been available and at full capacity in 2016 ...... we'd have a clear-cut premiership favourite.
Hawthorn
 		you're only just going and you've managed to get to 11-3 ...... a fourth consecutive flag is a very real prospect. And don't take this personally, but Malthouse is right - it's actually becoming all too predictable and boring.
Melbourne
 		Max Gawn continues his extraordinary rise to this point of the 2016 season ...... we're going to see him in an All Australian team. And possibly co-hosting a TV show. Love his attitude to everything.
North Melbourneyou lose four of your past five, no matter the injury-list scenario...... you'd want to win four of your next five if you want to finish top four.
Port Adelaide
 		perseverance is a quality you admire ...... study up on Kane Mitchell. We love nothing more than a footballer who just hangs in there, despite all the obstacles and critics. Really hope he's B.O.G. tonight.
Richmond
 		the ban on Triple M was indefinite ...... pretty please let us know when it ends. And then maybe we'll get back to you. Maybe. Maybe not.
St Kilda
 		the Saints go all-out in their pursuit of Rockliff ...... they will be more than handy in 2017.
Sydney Swans
 		Kennedy goes head to head with The Bont ......we're in for a treat. Please, Horse, make it happen.
West Coast
 		ever a win meant nothing ...... it was Thursday night against Essendon. Not the Eagles' fault, but we learnt zilch, yet again, about this mob in 2016.
Western Bulldogswe are to believe anything that comes out of this club ever again ......we're going to need hard proof. Cover-ups create lies, which create a bigger problem than the initial problem. And Boyd might even be playing this weekend had there not been an attempted cover-up. Well done, Bevo.
 And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... 
AFLyou ever again schedule a three-week patch of six games a week to service the bye requirements of the CBA ......hand in your licence to run the game. As we have regularly said, fully shut it down for one week. Or at a stretch, one game only in that "bye" week.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian