IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 

there's one certainty in an AFL season ...

... it is that there is no certainty in a Showdown. But even that won't stop us saying the Crows will stroll home in this one.
Brisbane Lions
 

everyone in a position of power approaches the coming days with class and respect ...

... everyone's path into the future will be smoother. It's not going to be easy, but they are good people in these positions.
Carlton
 

you lose 10-in-a-row in a season ...

... that season can't be assessed positively.
Collingwood
 

there's a player at the Magpies who deserves significant plaudits ...

... it's James Aish. Love how he's worked through his early season issues.
Essendon
 

the Bombers lost the PR battle for the previous three seasons ...

... they've fought back ferociously in that space this year. Well done.
Fremantle
 

the Dockers' board hadn't extended our man Ross The Boss' contract at the start of the year through to the end of 2020 ...

... they most certainly wouldn't be doing so right now.
Geelong
 

we loved one thing out of last weekend's matches ...

... it was Chris Scott ordering the key positional changes in-game. Taylor and Henderson should actually start forward this week.
Gold Coast
 

you've lost Prestia ...

... you're ultra desperate to keep O'Meara. No better than 50-50 to do so. Maybe as worrying as 20-80.
Greater Western Sydney

 

Leon Cameron was as calm behind closed doors as he was in his media conference after that disastrous final play last weekend ...

... we'd be very surprised.
Hawthorn
 

one thing slipped under the radar at team selection on Thursday ...

... it was Clarko going with Ryan Burton ahead of Sicily, who was available after suspension. Clarko must have a soft spot for Burton.
Melbourne
 

Roosy wants to take a bow on the way out ...

... he's entitled to. It might have cost the Demons a bomb, but every cent has been worth it.
North Melbourne

Brad Scott was in Las Vegas right now ...

... we're picturing him at the main craps table at Bellagio, watching how the high-flyers roll the dice. We reckon he's going to roll his own in the next two weeks - Higgins, Jacobs, McDonald, Waite, Wright all to be rushed back in. No point not to.
Port Adelaide
 
we think we know what makes Kochie tick as the highly successful businessman and media performer that he is ...... he isn't going to cop what's happened in 2016.
Richmond
 

the Tigers, after rejections from the likes of Treloar, Hannebery, Hartlett and Shiel, have finally got one of the out-of-contract guns to commit ...

...  they won't be silly enough to fail to come up with a fair trade. Martin and Cotchin will love having Prestia in 2017.
St Kilda
 

you were told this time last year that Billy Longer would be overlooked for rucking responsibilities at the expense of Jason Holmes ...

... you wouldn't have believed it.
Sydney Swans
 

Tippett comes back this week and Sinclair next week ...

... the planets are aligning yet again for the Swans to swoop in an even season. Is it 2012 all over again?
West Coast
 

the Eagles went a fair way in killing off the flat-track tag last weekend against GWS ...

... they can officially remove it on Friday against the ladder leaders. We think they will.
Western Bulldogs

Stringer's been listed on the interchange ...

... we're seeing a message being sent, regardless of the final changes to come this evening. And rightly so.
 And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... 
AFL

you thought we were obsessed with our high-definition TV campaign ...

... strap in for our quest to reduce the length of the home and away season to 17 rounds by 2023. Less will be proven to be a beautiful more.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian