IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		Brenton Sanderson doesn't use this week's break to take stock and demand of his players a change to their non-tackling ways ...... there won’t be a consecutive appearance in September.
Brisbane LionsLions youngsters Karnezis, Zorko, Bewick, Docherty, Longer, Green, Beams, Lester and co. can fire in 2013 ...... the recruiting nightmares of 2009 will be partially forgotten, maybe even partially forgiven.
Carltonthe Blues don't secure a big key forward for Mick Malthouse in the next trade period ...... the logic behind securing him as coach won't ever be able to reach its optimum.
CollingwoodCollingwood wants its new development at Westpac Centre to be real schmick ...... it needs one more car park.
Essendonteams don't put a hard tag on Jobe Watson in season 2013 ...... here we come, back-to-back Brownlows.
FremantleRoss Lyon is serious – and he IS - when he says the Dockers are not chasing Buddy Franklin ...... he should change his mind. 
GeelongMark Blicavs, as expected, makes a serious impact in this and subsequent seasons ...... all recruiters should ditch their old methods.
Gold Coastthe Suns can convince Gary Ablett to re-sign with the club and reject the strong pull of finishing his career in Victoria ...... it will be football's greatest list management miracle. 
Greater Western SydneyGWS is serious about gaining media attention in the Sydney media ...... it should encourage Kevin Sheedy to come out of his shell at least three times a week and say a few odd things. Oh, hang on.
HawthornBrad Sewell doesn't change the courageous way he plays the game ...
 		... he will concede more sliding free kicks than any other player in the competition.
Melbournethe Dees don't defeat Port Adelaide this weekend ...... well, for Mark Neeld that is one seriously ugly thought.
North Melbourneyou're into premature predictions based more on gut feel than established logic ...
 		... Shaun Atley will be All-Australian in 2013.
 
Port Adelaidethe Power can cash in on a favourable opening four rounds of the season ...... there will be rival club boards asking themselves how they overlooked Ken Hinkley.
Richmondthe Tigers are to make the final eight this season ...... Jack Riewoldt needs to make it more about him. Be selfish, Jack. Don't pass to teammates.
St Kildathe Saints lose to, or struggle against, the Suns on the weekend ...
 		... Justin Koschitzke will need to be moved to the backline for the rest of the year.
Sydney Swansthe Swans continue to get a fully paid-for 9.8 per cent cost-of-living allowance, and win a second consecutive premiership in 2013 against, say, Collingwood ...
 		... Eddie McGuire's already-smoldering head will burst into flame and then explode.
West Coastthe Eagles continue to play Mitch Brown as an emergency ...... he's outta there. Actually, he probably is anyway.
Western Bulldogsthe Bulldogs can win five games this season ...... it will be three more than expected.

Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian