IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		the Crows are to be a finals contender this season …… a win against a middle-of-the-rung St Kilda this week is a must. #willnotbeeasythough
Brisbane Lions
 		the Lions over the next two months show the type of ticker they displayed against West Coast last week …… Michael Voss may just keep his job. #stayin’alive
Carlton
 		Carlton supporters continue to give Shaun Hampson the Bronx cheer …… they are morons. #patheticfans
Collingwood
 		Heath Shaw wasn’t ushered into Bucks’ office during the week and given a spray after his hit on Ballantyne …… Bucks missed his opportunity. #JatzCrackers
Essendon
 		the Bombers can give the OK for a player to head off overseas in-season …… one has to wonder why they and other clubs continually espouse the virtues of 'one in-all-in'. #precedentset
Fremantle
 		anyone still feels the need to bag Zac Dawson …… stop. Now. #theguycanplay
Geelong
 		a club out there adopts Fremantle’s take-no-prisoners attitude to hiring key personnel …… Cats’ recruiter Stephen Wells will soon be getting an offer he won’t be able to refuse. #maybehealreadyhas
Gold Coast
 		Gerard Healy broadcasts a Suns game again this year …… he might request that Anthony Hudson not be his co-host. #atleastFrawleykeptastraightface
GWS Giants
 		a man questions Kevin Sheedy over racism ...
... that man’s opinions are as relevant as the dropkick. #goawayCraigFoster
Hawthorn
 		Luke Hodge hadn’t battled injuries pretty much throughout his entire career …… he’d already be nestled among the all-time greats. #maybeheisanyway
Melbourne
 		James Frawley doesn’t soon return to topline form …… there won’t have been too many greater falls in footy. #shadowofhimself
North MelbourneMajak v Nic Nat isn’t the most enticing individual match-up for the entire season …… can’t wait for what actually is. #excitementmachines
Port Adelaide
 		the Power’s low profile backline can hold up against Carlton …… an upset will be in the making. #bubblehasburstthough
Richmond
 		Brett Deledio maintains his high-end form for the remainder of the year …
… he needs to shout Nathan Brown dinner at Vue De Monde. #firedupafterpublicridicule
St Kilda
 		there was a footy god ...… Nick Riewoldt would secure a flag before he retires. #thereisnofootygod
Sydney Swans
 		Adam Goodes crudely slides into a contest again this season …… there will be a revolt from opponents. #theyhavehadenough
West Coast
 		the Eagles keep making Mitch Brown play in the WAFL …… we just have to keep asking why they played the hardest form of hardball with him in last year’s trade period. #willbeaSaintin2014
Western Bulldogsthe Dogs needed any more evidence they are a million miles off the AFL pace …… they get it this week with their massive underdog status against the Suns. #timetomakeastatement