Last week I hopped on a tram, found a corner and buried my head in a newspaper. A few stops later, a young man strolled over and sat across from me, and I couldn't look away.
For starters, he was wearing two different types of shoes, one with tooth marks pierced throughout, presumably from his pet dog.
As my eyes wandered up I saw numerous holes over his stained tracksuit pants and language on a t-shirt best left to the imagination. Before casting any judgment I figured he was underprivileged, meaning his attire was the best he could conjure up.
That theory was squelched once he reached for his pocket and took out one of the most expensive mobile phones on the market. He then rang a friend and chuckled at his recent $500 phone bill. Before he put the device back into his pocket, he wiped the screen and placed it down like he was handling a newborn baby.
So much time, money and effort spent on his state-of-the-art mobile, all the while looking like an extra from Oliver Twist.
Similar teenagers are popping up all over the place.
I just pray they're taking more care with how their fantasy football sides look. Spending big in one area while letting other parts of your side look as dodgy as the aforementioned tracksuit pants is not a good idea.
A mate of mine continually crows about his amazing centreline of Dane Swan, Gary Ablett, Matthew Boyd, Trent Cotchin and Jobe Watson, but upon closer examination you realise his defensive and ruck stocks are way below par. No wonder he's hovering near the bottom of the ladder.
It again highlights the importance of choosing dual-position players, which clearly help avoid dreaded zeros in certain areas your side.
One that comes to mind is Brisbane Lions star Tom Rockliff (FWD, MID), who has averaged more than 110 in the last month of footy.
In further good news, he scores around the 100 mark consistently against this week's opponents, Essendon.
Mr Fantasy's trade recommendations
Ins: Jack Hannath (Fremantle), Jackson Thurlow (Geelong)
Fremantle's ruck stocks are simply depleted, so Hannath still provides good value and a good replacement for those who pinned their hopes on NAB Cup star Daniel Currie (Kangaroos). Thurlow scored 72 on debut for the Cats and it may be hard to get him out of the senior side, which is great for those who have selected him.
Outs: Hamish Hartlett (Port Adelaide), Chris Yarran (Carlton)
The bubble hasn't burst just yet at Port, but some of the Power's stars have had fantasy shockers of late. Hartlett has a breakeven score of 187 this week, meaning his price will dip below $400,000 for the first time in 2013. Yarran's hammy looks a little tender, so the Blues will be wary, plus his average of around 60 this year is disappointing.
