1. Hawthorn - 1995 pre-season jumper.
It may have only been worn in one game, against the Sydney Swans as part of the 1995 pre-season competition, but no jumper has ever been as criticised as Hawthorn's brown and gold diamonds on blue. Described as looking more like jockey silks than a footy jumper, one can only imagine what possessed the club to allow their players to run out onto AFL Park wearing predominately blue. The outcry from members was long and loud and we never saw the hated strip again.
2. Melbourne - 1975-86 official jumper.
For the greater part of their football life, the Melbourne Football Club has proudly worn a jumper of navy blue with a red yolk. They carried those famous colours with great distinction during the late fifties and early sixties when they dominated the competition like no team before or after. Despite the legacy of navy blue and red, they chose to alter the blue in their strip to royal blue to coincide with the advent of colour TV in Australia. Melbourne was not the only club to go colour blind because of colour TV but they were the only club to stick with their decision for 12 seasons. The football Gods were obviously displeased and the Demons never made the finals in royal blue. As soon as they reverted to navy blue in 1987, they finished third.
3. Brisbane Bears - 1989-91 official jumper.
As a side cobbled together from AFL rejects, the Brisbane Bears found it hard to win the respect of the football public. If that wasn't hard enough, they were forced to wear a jumper that simply added to the sniggering. In 1989 the original maroon on their strip was replaced with cerise. Hardly a traditional football colour, the cerise formed a logo consisting of two large letter B's and a cute koala's head, which by the way is not only the furthest thing from ferocious, it's also not a bear.
4. North Melbourne - 2009 - present, away jumper.
In 2009 North Melbourne unveiled an away strip that looked suspiciously like the Argentine national football shirt. Their traditional royal blue stripes were replaced with a much lighter version that made the Roos appear close to all-white at times. While the aesthetics of the jumper may be fine, the strip came to symbolise North Melbourne bowing to pressure from Collingwood, as it was worn in both away and home games against the Pies. Even though the club slightly darkened the stripes in 2011, the jumper remains a symbol of submission to a richer club and as such is despised by many North fans.
5. South Melbourne - 1979, night series jumper.
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The 1979 night series, or Escort Cup as it was known, saw then VFL clubs pitted against sides from interstate, with the potential of clubs who had the same outfits meeting. Such was the case when South Melbourne was drawn to play South Fremantle from the WAFL. As both sides wore white with a red vee, one team had to find an alternate strip and that task fell to the Swans. In 1979 clubs didn't have alternate strips, so where South Melbourne found an orange jumper with a white triangle on it is anybody's guess. Thankfully they were promptly returned from whence they came and never used again!
6. St. Kilda - 2001-03, away jumper.
Football clubs will do almost anything for money but surely they should draw the line when it comes to dressing up their players as milk cartons. The Saints struck a deal with Pura Milk in 2001 that saw the side wear a mainly yellow away strip that approximated the packaging of a new milk product called Pura Light Start. The Saints enjoyed little success in their milky tops and by 2004 were back wearing their traditional colours of red, white and black in all matches.
7. Fremantle - 1998-2000, away jumper.
Like a debutant on prom night, the Fremantle Dockers have constantly made changes to their outfit in the hoping of looking just right. The club has recently ditched the green and red from their original colours in favour of a simple purple and white number for both home and away games. The move to simplicity may have been prompted by a look back at their rather busy away strip from the late 1990's that incorporated a stylised anchor on a melange of red, white, purple and green.
8. Western Bulldogs - 2005, pre-season and away jumper.
Only someone lucky enough to have had the full set of 72 Derwent Colour Pencils as a child would be able to accurately describe the colour ochre. Nevertheless, that is the colour the Western Bulldogs chose to go with for their alternate strip in 2005. It was an attempt to strengthen their bonds with sponsor Origin Energy but all it did was alienate their fans. The mainly ochre number received scathing reviews and remains loathed by at least one Bulldog star today. Luke Darcy was wearing the earthy looking jumper the day he did his anterior cruciate ligament in a match against Geelong at Shell Stadium in 2005.
9. West Coast - 2000-02, away jumper.
West Coast's away jumper from the start of this millennium is hard to describe. A psychedelic little number it was a departure from the club's traditional colours of yellow and blue in that it incorporated yellow, orange, red and when the sun was shining a little vermillion. Although it was never a hit with fans, it surely was a firm favourite with conservationists who would have noted that the clubs eagle was perfectly camouflaged on the jumper’s front.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL
