| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | the Crows don’t commit to forever remembering the sickness they’ve felt this week as the footy world has poured love and respect on their cross-town rival ... | … it will be a motivational opportunity lost. |
| Brisbane Lions | this club doesn’t get its act together RIGHT NOW … | … it will be the Bears revisited. It is that serious. |
| Carlton | Port Adelaide is the story of the finals – and it is … | … Nick Duigan is running a very close second. |
| Collingwood | the jungle drums are being heard correctly ... | … yet another big name will be departing the Pies. Maybe Harry O? |
| Essendon | Essendon doesn’t have a coach, a footy ops boss, a high performance manager or a doctor, and does have a CEO with only interim status, yet still finds time and money to fire off a legal threat to a rival club … | … it needs yet another reality check. |
| Fremantle | Aaron Sandilands does indeed need to wear a helmet … | … what's he trying to avoid hitting him? The door-frame on the way out of the rooms? |
| Geelong | the Cats are knocked out in straight sets … | … we can officially draw a line on one of the most successful eras ever. |
| Gold Coast | a lot of AFL players do as we think they do, and spend about 45 seconds analysing their MVP votes before submitting them … | … the system is in need of major overhaul. Ablett definitely a worthy winner in 2013, but by 1000 votes? Give us a spell. |
| GWS | we hear one more time that the Giants haven’t yet made Buddy an offer ... | ... Terry Wallace’s “spew up” speech will apply. Don’t treat us as fools any longer. |
| Hawthorn | there is a team which has traded better than the Hawks in the past seven years … | … well, there isn’t. |
| Melbourne | Peter Jackson hasn’t asked Keith Thomas for some advice on how he helped turn around Port Adelaide … | … he should. The Power way should be footy blueprint. |
| North Melbourne | Nick Dal Santo goes to the Roos ... | … who do you tag? Dal Santo, Harvey, Wells, Ziebell, Atley? Changes the dynamics at this club in a massive way. |
| Port Adelaide | there has been a better turnaround in 12 months of a footy club than this one … | … it must have been an outstanding turnaround. |
| Richmond | Dustin Martin is thinking about celebrating like that in a crunch game at a crunch moment … | … you seriously have to question where his head is at. And whether it will ever be in the right place. |
| St Kilda | the Saints want to get anywhere in the next 10 years ... | … hard decisions need to be made NOW, while their guns have trade currency. |
| Sydney Swans | the Swans learnt anything last Friday night against the Hawks … | … it’s that you can’t take injured, or underdone, blokes into a week one final. |
| West Coast | the Eagles actually are as professional and ruthless as they like to make out … | ... their coaching situation would have been sorted out months ago. Not a great look, right now. |
| Western Bulldogs | the Dogs can get their hands on Stewart Crameri … | ...it will be a very important step in their rise up the ladder. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
