IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
you're a footballer and you own a cat and it vomits in your car...
...of course it compels you to do 96kmh in a 60kmh zone. Silly you, if you thought otherwise.
Brisbane Lions
 
ever there was a sign that the Lions may have turned things around......it’s Stef Martin re-signing. Look back 12 months and blokes were lining up to leave.
Carlton
 
Chris Judd had waited until this week to determine his playing future......we reckon he might only be 50-50 to go on.
Collingwood
 
you're a B-Grade midfielder aged 22-26 in the competition......expect your phone to get hot over the next few weeks.
Essendon
 
Michael Hurley maintains his form of the past month for the remainder of his career......he will be the player we all thought he was going to be after we saw him rip open the round 22 match of his first season, in 2009.
Fremantle
 
Colin Sylvia had the right attitude......he’d be looking at playing in a brilliant finals series. He doesn’t. And he’s not.
Geelong
 
the Cats losing to the Hawks was, according to the coach, “mission accomplished”......we can only imagine what it would've been had they won.
Gold Coast
 
you are to be really honest in your appraisal of Karmichael Hunt's time in the AFL...
...you'll acknowledge it was a waste of time and money - for club, player and code. And that it was never going to be anything other than that.
Greater Western Sydney

 
the Giants aren't considering an offer for Ryan O'Keefe...
...they should be. He's still got a lot to offer and would almost certainly help Tom Scully to understand the game better than he currently does.
Hawthorn
 
the Hawks go all-out tonight, and Clarko's not the type of guy who approves of anything else, no matter the circumstances......it's going to get really, really ugly for Collingwood. 100-point ugly.
Melbourne
 
this is, indeed, Frawley's final match for Melbourne......it will be interesting to see how Demons supporters react when he walks off the ground on Saturday night.
North MelbourneZiebell can play in the forward line in the finals like he did last week......this club might be the X Factor in September.
Port Adelaide
 
the Power defeats Freo in Perth this week......it won't be daunted one bit by having to play a qualifying final against the Swans at Homebush. Maybe this club is the real X Factor.
Richmond
 
we're going to leave ourselves wide open for a smashing by a group of supporters which has no rival when it comes to real venom...
...here it is: the Tigers are no hope against the Swans and the 2014 season was a complete waste.
St Kilda
 
this club is going to publicly release information it had chosen to keep quiet only when we ask about it......we wonder what else it is keeping quiet on. We may not make the phone call on this other story we've been told, might just go with it.
Sydney Swans
 
your playing career was completed under Denis Pagan as coach......it is not in your DNA to rest fit players, or ease-up, at any stage of a season, even in a dead rubber final round.
West Coast
 
with all that has gone wrong in 2014, Adam Simpson can get this club into the finals in his debut season......he deserves a big pat on the back.
Western Bulldogsyou beat a depleted GWS in the final round to get to eight wins for the year......it's a really hard season to judge. Yes, there's been improvement, but probably not enough.

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