IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
it emerges that Rory did indeed agree to new terms all the way back in January and opted to delay announcing it to give Dangerfield some cover ...... he's an even better bloke than we already know him to be.
Brisbane Lions
 
Tom Rockliff avoids punctured lungs and concussions for the remainder of the season ...... the Lions will be OK. He plays fully fit, they're always a chance.
Carlton
 
you publicly use the term "rebuild" after round two ...... you've got 20 weeks of pain to follow. Whatever you say about Mick, he had enough problems without adding that one.
Collingwood
 
you look below the surface ...... you'll see the Pies have had a very easy fixture and have beaten no team of established quality.
Essendon
 
Brendon Goddard wants to remove the on-field umpires' mics ...... he might want to remember that the TV stations pay the really big bucks which ultimately find their way to the players. It's actually pretty simple, too. Eliminate the C-bomb from your vocabulary.
Fremantle
 
we went out of our way last year to vigorously defend Nat in what we argued was an unfair Match Review Panel decision ...... it is only right that we this week nominate him as the luckiest player in the comp for escaping proper sanction for what he did last week.
Geelong
 
the Cats' midfield depth was already a concern ...... it is a major concern now. Duncan going down puts question marks over many, particularly Caddy, Guthrie, Murdoch and Lang.
Gold Coast
 
you win clearances 54-33 but 62 of your 302 disposals are clangers ...... there's something a whole lot more worrying than an injury crisis.
Greater Western Sydney

 
Tom Boyd had stayed ...... there's a chance he wouldn't be guaranteed a regular game. McCarthy could be anything, Stewart is starting to look the goods.
Hawthorn
 
you're 100 points up against a lowly opposition with two minutes to go and you then decide to use your best player, Roughy, as the loose man in the backline ...... you're half animal. In that well-meaning, fully respectful of those who play to win every single day of their lives, way.
Melbourne
 
you're not wanting to play AFL in the week your team comes up against Hawthorn ...... we wonder, Jack, why you suddenly do want to play AFL when your team plays the Dogs.
North Melbourneyou add this latest heated debate about gaining controversial free kicks for high tackles to the AFL's rule changes made because of a head-high hit on Ben Reid and a broken leg-inducing collision with Gary Rohan ...... Lindsay Thomas is a true revolutionary as well as a genuine star footballer.
Port Adelaide
 
Power's salary cap is at bursting point this year, and it is ...... what happens to Jay Schulz next year? Surely they can't lose him. Can they? Nearly 200 goals since round one, 2012.
Richmond
 
there's a player who is more crucial than Brett Deledio is to Richmond when it comes to having a chance of winning a game of football ...... it is only Gary Ablett at Gold Coast.
St Kilda
 
Nick Riewoldt never played again ...... no one could begrudge him. He will play again, but one more serious head hit and the final decision can no longer be his alone.
Sydney Swans
 
you wanted to mount a case that Luke Parker is among the best 10 players in the competition ...... do it. With swagger.
West Coast
 
there was a more courageous act last year than Elliot Yeo playing on after having two front teeth smashed in round 10 last year ...... we can't think of it. And 12 months on, he's now looming as a key part of this emerging, feel-good football team.
Western Bulldogsyou're Will Minson ...... you're outta there at season's end.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian