IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		ever a club has cashed-in after initially paying overs for a player ...... then it is the Crows with their Eddie Betts transaction. Paid a premium, but they've already got their money back.
Brisbane Lions
 		at half time of a NEAFL game your AFL coach grabs you by the throat, slams you against a wall and bans you from seniors for three weeks ...... you were 300-1 to be named as first rover of the Lions in round 10. Well done for hanging in, Zac O'Brien.
Carlton
 		there's a player wasting his talent more than Chris Yarran right now ...... forget it, there's not.
Collingwood
 		the Pies get back Greenwood, Reid and Macaffer before the end of the year ...... Bucks might just rip his other hamstring when he jumps for joy.
Essendon
 		the next three matches, against Geelong, West Coast and Hawthorn, are all lost ...... this is going to be one very, very long season for the Bombers.
Fremantle
 		the hit-outs stat hasn't become as irrelevant as Inside 50s ... ... consider that Sandi broke a record with 69 of them last week, yet his team won clearances by just four.
Geelong
 		West Coast was serious, and accurate in front of goal, last week ...... it would have beaten the Cats by 100 points, not 56.
Gold Coast
 		you're clever enough to pay for the wine you may have consumed in your hotel room when you check out ...... your footy club doesn't discover that you drank the wine in the first place and you'd be playing seniors this week.
Greater Western Sydney

 		Griffen could've handled his walkout on the Dogs any worse ...... we doubt it. He leaves, the coach gets sacked, refuses leadership role at his new club full of kids, then stinks it up the first time he plays against his old team.
Hawthorn
 		we read this right ...... Rough will kick eight against a weakened Saints backline. Maybe nine or 10.
Melbourne
 		this week someone deserved a Rising Star nomination before round nine ...... it was Hogan. No one in the history of the award has been forced to produce as many good games to get one.
North Melbournelast week's effort was "disgusting" and "appalling" and left you "shattered" enough to promise that you'll "be doing something about it" but when the time comes at selection you drop a couple of youngsters only ...... you leave yourself open to being dubbed soft on your players. Yet again.
Port Adelaide
 		Schulz fires ...... Port wins.
Richmond
 		we were critical at the start of the season ...... it's only fair we heap praise for the very nice turnaround in the past three weeks.
St Kilda
 		Armitage took Richmond's big offer at the end of last year ...... the Saints' midfield would be officially shot. Putting together a fine season.
Sydney Swans
 		Goodes wants to war dance for every game remaining in his career ...... so be it. Please everyone, just accept it, and maybe even embrace the fact that his actions have forced us all to talk about the big picture.
West Coast
 		as a ruckman you take only two marks in a game ...... no one can be critical when one of those grabs is mark of the year and you also rack up seven clearances, seven score involvements and 13 contested possessions.
Western Bulldogsthe Dogs can win at Adelaide Oval ...... we'll say they're a season 2015 real deal.


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