| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | anyone is criticising Danger for refusing to declare where he will be in 2016 ... | ... put yourself in his shoes. There’s no right answer right now. And there’s no wrong answer in October. |
| Brisbane Lions | the AFL was to hand out rubber stamps for expressing public positivity on all occasions despite what the facts suggest ... | ... the exercise book of Leppa and his Lions buddies would be full of them. |
| Carlton | directors vote to sack a coach eight rounds into a season ... | ... the directors should have the nerve to find a new leader. Not hide behind a sub-committee. Then again, why would we expect the rabble that is the Blues board to actually show strong, fearless, leadership? |
| Collingwood | Adam Oxley thought playing senior footy was going to be tough ... | ... he needn’t have. No one plays on him in the AFL. Well, at least not the past two weeks anyway. |
| Essendon | the next three matches produce just 21 goals as the past three have done ... | ... Paul Little might do what he nearly did late last year and sack the coach. And then resign himself. |
| Fremantle | you play at your absolute worst and still win ... | ... you’re going beautifully. Don’t read even one thing into the ugly slog against the Suns last week. |
| Geelong | ever there was an unfortunate injury to a player on the move ... | ... it was Stanley last week. Looks like he could be anything as a Cat. Maurice Greene-type explosion out of the blocks, which is impressive for a guy who’s two metres tall. |
| Gold Coast | you thought Malceski, McKenzie and Harbrow were going to be the Suns' main drivers through half-back in 2015 ... | ... re-think. Now. Kolodjashnij and Saad are leading the way. |
| Greater Western Sydney | you're Leon Cameron ... | ... you're refusing to tolerate the lairising rubbish dished up in the first half against the Pies last week. Leave that stuff to Stevie J, who's got plenty runs on the scoreboard. |
| Hawthorn | Michael Tuck had a pointy elbow that sort-of went unnoticed until late in his career ... | ... Sam Mitchell has a very pointy knee. Just ask Big Tex. And a few others. |
| Melbourne | you're paying your coach $1.6 million-plus... | ... what’s an extra $20 to buy a big clock and make it visible to all on the interchange bench? Or would such a purchase actually send the wrong message on what really caused the embarrassing breakdown in communication against the Saints? |
| North Melbourne | Bastinac had taken the nice offer from GWS ... | ... he'd be playing AFL this weekend. Not sitting as an emergency for North, with the pause button hit on his career. |
| Port Adelaide | Lobbe has just woken up from the Stanley and Blicavs induced nightmare of last week ... | ... he'll get a good night's sleep tonight. Sorry, Cameron Wood, but the line was there to use! |
| Richmond | Newman is playing VFL ... | ... you're going more than OK than as a team. And by the way, we're still wanting to buy that seat on the bandwagon. |
| St Kilda | footy clubs earned premiership points on the back of headlines, and TV and radio grabs ... | ... the Saints would be top four. Selling a good message and nice hope. The challenge will be to actually deliver. |
| Sydney Swans | there's something that is warming our heart this past few weeks ... | ... it is Adam Goodes' form. Love everything about him. The man he is. The player he has been and still is. The awareness he has created for all of us. |
| West Coast | Cam McCarthy is our new young gun forward line fixation ... | ... Jeremy McGovern is our fixation when it comes to the backline. Sky. Limit. |
| Western Bulldogs | the Bulldogs are indeed a finals team ... | ... they beat the ever-positive Lions by eight goals. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
