| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | IF Menzel wants full motivation to make the Blues fully aware of what they once had ... | ... all he needs to do is follow the way Betts and Jacobs went about it. |
| Brisbane Lions | Walker, Bastinac and Bell come in to replace Leuenberger, Redden and Aish ... | ... it’s pretty good trade period scrambling. Even if there was a backflip from a man who never before had backflipped. First time for everything, hey Lethal? |
| Carlton | you’re going to bring in something good ... | ... you have to let something good go out. Menzel the justifiable collateral in SOS' science. |
| Collingwood | you’re going to record a “secret” video ... | ... don’t upload it onto any online space until you’re ready to make it public. Also, don’t deflect responsibility onto those who had nothing to do with it when your “secret” video is accessed. |
| Essendon | Leuenberger comes in, Carlisle has become someone else’s problem and you’ve still got 4, 5, 24 and 25 in the draft ... | ... happy days. Well, happy days until the WADA thing starts anyway. |
| Fremantle | we’re to be blunt right now ... | ... there won’t be an elusive premiership for Ross The Boss in 2016. Bennell a huge acquisition but no McCarthy means no flag. |
| Geelong | we want more of something in the AFL ... | ... it is the type of attitude the Cats take to every single season of football. They go for the flag every year. We love it. Please, everyone, seek to be like them. Please be rid of those five and six-year plans which never eventuate anyway. |
| Gold Coast | our brain isn’t totally fried ... | ... we remember distinctly that the 2016 period was meant to be the time the Suns drove for a premiership, not again stockpile a nice set of numbers for national drafts. |
| Greater Western Sydney | our brain isn’t totally fried ... | ... we remember distinctly that the 2016 period was meant to be the time the Giants also drove for a premiership, not again stockpile a nice set of numbers for national drafts. |
| Hawthorn | you win a third premiership in a row and get to take picks 15 and 18 into the next draft ... | ... trade period has worked out for you. Again. In a different way this time round. |
| Melbourne | Jesse Hogan is to re-commit beyond his end-of-2017 Dees deal ... | ... the club simply must recruit a gun key forward in this year’s draft. And trade one in next year. He needs high-end help down there. |
| North Melbourne | you set out to recruit everyone from Treloar to Hartlett but end up only with a young man who couldn’t get a game at another club ... | ... things haven’t worked to plan. Scrounged some OK picks, though, late in trading on the back of the Bastinac exit. |
| Port Adelaide | one thing intrigued us in the past 14 days ... | ... it was Lobbe’s refusal to consider some seriously good offers. Good on him, hope his determination to make it at Port pays off.. |
| Richmond | you’ve lost three elimination finals in a row, and you aim for everyone from Treloar to Carlisle to Bennell but are forced to settle for Yarran only ... | ... we don’t see anything changing in 2016. |
| St Kilda (i) | there’s one thing to take out of Jake Carlisle’s selfie-video exploits ... | ... it is that he won’t be joining Mensa next time it is seeking Australian applicants. |
| St Kilda (ii) | everyone in AFL land officialdom gets so outraged when drug use is made public via a photo or video ... | ... we wonder, and have been wondering since the drugs policy was formulated, why those same people don’t get outraged on all the other occasions when they are made aware of drugs activity which doesn’t make it into the public domain. But image trumps integrity, doesn’t it? Every single time. |
| Sydney Swans | one club seemed to lose its way not only late in the season but also the trade period ... | ... it was the Swans. Sinclair coming in will be OK, but lacklustre with everything else. Maybe it won’t matter. Maybe they’re thinking Callum Mills is the next Chris Judd. |
| West Coast | you don’t believe in miracles ... | ... please consider the fact Jon Giles is now at a fourth AFL club. And has a three-year contract with this year’s losing grand finalist. |
| Western Bulldogs | the Bulldogs had their time over again with the trade period last year ... | ... Tom Boyd wouldn’t be on a deal which sees him taking home about $1.6 million in 2016. And they wouldn’t be paying part of the salary of Ryan Griffen, who chose to walk out on them, at another club, either. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
