IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		you say you want to keep Brad Crouch ...... you're going to have to play him.
Brisbane Lions
 		Leigh Matthews was Leigh Michaels ...... he'd be the most under-pressure footy club boss in the country. But he's not. And he fully deserves the media leniency. For a little longer, at least.
Carlton
 		we detected something last week we hadn’t seen since week one of finals three years ago ...... it was that old Carlton-supporter arrogance. And we sort of liked it. But please keep it in check for a little longer.
Collingwood
 		there's something we both fully admire and yet sometimes shake our head at in the same motion ...... it is Bucks' determination to adhere to his own football ideology on every single decision. He's all-in on what he demands of his players, every single time. So Trav finds himself at Casey Fields.
Essendon
 		there's ever been a Friday night game with less appeal than this Hawks-Dons clash ...... ahh, nup, there hasn't been.
Fremantle
 		Michael Barlow wants to stay at the Dockers ...... he needs to become Ryan Crowley, circa 2012-13. Very nice start to his new run-with role last week against Zaharakis, too.
Geelong
 		there's such a thing as a sure-thing box trifecta ...... it is that Danger, Joel and Cam are top three in the Cats' best-and-fairest race.
Gold Coast
 		you're on All-Australian pace after the first month and find yourself in the NEAFL by early June ...... you've got issues.
Greater Western Sydney

 		it was big and bright and shiny after round nine ...... it's a lot smaller and duller going into round 12. And we’re predicting it will lose another layer of size and sheen this week, too. But we won’t be throwing it out just yet.
Hawthorn
 		we know Clarko like we think we know Clarko ...... he'll have the after-burners on from the first bounce this week. That percentage of 108.9 could do with a 100-point win. Actually, it needs a 100-point win.
Melbourne
 		there was one certainty in AFL team selection ...... it was Jeff Garlett's omission this week. In a Paul Roos-coached team, you can't pull out the way he did against the Hawks.
North MelbourneNorth really, really, really wants to keep Majak on its list in 2017 ...... it somehow needs to provide sustained senior-team opportunities this year.
Port Adelaide
 		there's one thing we love ...... it is a player emerging from absolutely nowhere. Aaron Young, keep riding that wave.
Richmond
 		the Suns beat the Tiges at the 'G on Sunday ...... oh boy. Don't want to sound like Bruce McAvaney here, but they couldn't, could they?
St Kilda
 		our worries about this club were deep when we raised them after round seven ......  they are deeper now. Yep, injuries aren't helping. But there are a lot of areas of concern.
Sydney Swans
 		Andrew Ireland, the CEO of the Swans wanted to be a real smart alec ...... win, lose or draw, he'd send an invoice to his GWS counterpart Dave Matthews on Monday on the back of his club finally ensuring that Spotless Stadium was packed.
West Coast
 		you want to finish top four ...... you need to win this one. It won't be easy, either. Crows going very nicely.
Western BulldogsStringer has been our favourite Dog for the past season-and-a-half ...... The Bont is closing hard. Like Chautauqua in this year's Lightning Stakes.


Click here for more Sliding Doors

Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian