| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | the stage is set the way we think it is ... | ... big Texan will kick eight in the Showdown. |
| Brisbane Lions | anyone ever takes for granted something they are blessed to be able to do ... | ... two words. Justin. Clarke. |
| Carlton | you'd forgotten Marc Murphy possessed serious ability ... | ... you're forgiven, given his battles with injury and poorly performing teammates. But don't forget again. |
| Collingwood | the gut feel is right ... | ... that's it for Swanny. Just hope the gut feel is wrong. |
| Essendon | Hurley isn't training with the main Bombers' WADA-banned group ... | ... that is sending an alarming message. |
| Fremantle | our faith in 'Ross The Boss' hadn't diminished one bit in his nine full seasons as an AFL coach ... | ... it was certainly challenged – and quite seriously - after he dished up that debacle against the Dogs last week. But of course we’re sticking fat. |
| Geelong | Danger can rack up 43 touches after immersing himself in media and general Geelong promotion over the previous five months ... | ... please, please, please can all coaches and media departments at all clubs realise that media work, when it is all said and done, has no impact once the ball is bounced? |
| Gold Coast | there was a guy about to enter the never-to-be-seen-again zone this time last year ... | ... it was Aaron Hall. One of the great turnarounds, and full credit to him. |
| Greater Western Sydney | Stevie J wants to take shots at goal from ridiculous positions ... | ... so be it. That’s what he does. He’s nailed it 454 times. We won’t be joining the chorus on this debate. |
| Hawthorn | Ryan Schoenmakers was on cloud nine after the Grand Final last year ... | ... he crashed back to earth last Monday. |
| Melbourne | Joel Selwood and Luke Hodge split the honours as AFL's toughest ... | ... Jack Viney is not far away from making it a three-way go. In fact, we’re mounting the case right now to say he’s there already. |
| North Melbourne | a nearly-38-year-old can still boast explosive pace and perform match-winning feats in round one, 2016 ... | ... we're backing him in to still be playing in 2018. |
| Port Adelaide | Lobbe didn't realise it at the start of last week's match ... | ... he surely did by the end of it: he's crucial to what this side does this year. |
| Richmond | we’re Hardwick ... | ... we're sticking Riewoldt in the goalsquare and we're telling him this: you've got a licence to kick goals. |
| St Kilda | the Saints had played three NAB Challenge games and not two, following the cancelled Mackay game ... | ... would they have gone from three-goal leaders to six-goal losers last week against Port? Just putting it out there … |
| Sydney Swans | Jake Lloyd, George Hewett, Dean Towers and Daniel Robinson walked into your view ... | ... would you recognise them? Hate to admit it, we probably wouldn't. Part of a Swans midfield which helped rack up an 80-point win last weekend. |
| West Coast | there's a game we're really, really, really looking forward to this weekend ... | ... it is Sunday's 3.20pm fixture at the 'G. Reckon the Hawks will be 0-2 once it's done, too. |
| Western Bulldogs | all non-Bulldogs supporters are to be honest with themselves ... | ... this mob is everyone's second-favourite team. They just play footy the way it should be played. And they've got Stringer. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
