STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

the Crows were courageous in landing a last-gasp Showdown win in round eight ...

THEN ...

they very simply need to be ruthless against Richmond in the round nine closer on Sunday. Percentage is low (96.6). Must go at this at full throttle.

IF ..

Zac Bailey has jagged seven goals in his past two matches, and 14 from seven for the season ...

THEN ...

he'll be eyeing six more against the beleaguered Carlton under Friday night Gabba lights. At the peak of his powers, Bailey, and what a bonus for him that it is coinciding with his free agency. Ka-ching, ka-ching.

IF ...

the Lions have now frosted the glass separating the public from their meeting rooms, ensuring their now-famous whiteboard notations will be remaining private ...

THEN ...

that's a good thing for the Blues. Not sure the Lions' players would've been able to get near filling the "strengths" column.

IF ...

one famous Collingwood captain in Tony Shaw doesn't like the fact that another famous one in Pendles will be wearing a jumper with his No.10 emblazoned in gold for his AFL record 433rd match ...

THEN ...

I'm with him. On match day, even on this monumentally historical occasion, Pendlebury is merely one of 23. Obviously outside of match day, he is an icon. There will be enough thoroughly deserved love, pomp, ceremony, celebration and fawning over this accolade without the need for Pendles to be presented as being separate to his teammates.

IF ...

it was apparently "lazy", according to the coach, for media to criticise Ben McKay two weeks ago ...

THEN ...

it's intriguing that the Bombers have axed him for Saturday's game against GWS. There's a lot of mess at this club right now.

IF ...

you are not yet aware that Luke Jackson is the second best player in the comp, behind the Bont of course, and closing very hard on the No.1 spot ...

THEN ...

surely you're coming around after Thursday night. A genuinely special talent who can do anything – ruck, ruck-rove, kick goals, take hangers, create clearances, get contested ball, and always do the team thing. Took this team on his shoulders in the last quarter against Hawthorn at Optus Stadium. And depending on what happens deep in September, that smother of Jai Newcombe's kick at a crucial time in the last quarter may just become iconic.

IF ...

there's a Cat overdue for a big game ...

THEN ...

it's Danger. Just 18 kicks from four matches in '26. I've got him down for BOG at the 'G on Saturday night against Collingwood.

IF ...

Jarrod Witts was "managed" out of a big round eight win against GWS ...

THEN ...

interesting that he's been left out again for Saturday night's match against St Kilda in Darwin. This is the right time to unleash Ned Moyle, who has been given just 14 opportunities in the AFL after being recruited in the 2021 mid-season rookie draft.

IF ...

my long-held policy has been to wait at least eight rounds in a season before beginning to make big-picture assessments on footy clubs ...

THEN ...

here we are. And while coach Kingsley isn't worried about the Giants – as per his words after his sixth loss last weekend, against Gold Coast – I am. Very much so. They couldn't lose to the Bombers, could they?

IF ...

yet again on Thursday night you could not possibly question one aspect of the Hawks' endeavour nor gameplan under Sam Mitchell ...

THEN ...

other areas are open to scrutiny. The brilliant Gunston and Watson kicked nine of their 11 goals. Tom Barrass now out for a while with a hamstring. And the midfield desperately needs Will Day. 

IF ...

the Dees enter round nine with a 5-3 scoreline ...

THEN ...

with West Coast their opponent on Sunday, it should very comfortably get to 6-3. Brody Mihocek is a big loss, though, particularly with matches after the Eagles against Hawthorn and the Western Bulldogs. 

IF ...

North's home match on Saturday against Sydney is doubling as a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the Roos' Grand Final win against the same team ...

THEN ...

surely the current crop of Roos will draw something from the greatest of all-time (in my eyes, anyway) Wayne Carey. As well as Corey, Schwatta, Micky, Arch, Stevo, Fruity, Doctor, Simmo and Crock. 

IF ...

Kenny is no longer coach and no longer part of Power operations ...

THEN ...

I still reckon Kochy needs to go into bat for him and demand the AFL reimburse him the 20k it took off him for daring to say to Jack Ginnivan in the moments after a three-point win an epic 2024 semi-final, "you're not flying anywhere, Jack". It made no sense to me the day the AFL handed down that fine, and even less when we were to learn some weeks later that the AFL was to use the Kenny-Ginni stoush as a promotional tool in scheduling the next season's Port-Hawthorn match as the Gather Round Sunday night closer. And, it was also highway robbery given the Blues this week copped just 75k for their mishandling of Elijah Hollands.

IF ...

Jed Walter can't get a game for the Suns at the moment ...

THEN ...

I would imagine the Tigers would be monitoring this situation. Going to have to replace Tom Lynch at some stage.

IF ...

game No.163 for Rowan Marshall was one of his very best and also reaped a career equal-high three goals ...

THEN ...

what a statement. Was furious that the Saints went and spent $1.7 million a year on TDK to take his main ruck spot, and desperately wanted out, to Geelong. Still does. But now that he's found form, this is big for the Saints.

IF ...

I've loved what the Swans have done this year as they've made their way to 7-1 ...

THEN ...

while deservedly a clearcut favourite, I reckon they've got one of those danger games in round nine. North Melbourne won't be easy. And Curnow being out injured isn't ideal. 

IF ...

the definition of rut is "a habit or pattern of behaviour that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change" ...

THEN ...

yes, Elliot Yeo, the Eagles are in an almighty rut. Eighty seven losses in the past 100 matches is a rut. And losing to Richmond, which had just three listed players available for VFL selection, was simply embarrassing.

IF ...

the Bont was a movie star ...

THEN ...

he'd be John Wick. You can't finish him. John Wick got straight up after falling down 200 stairs. He brushed himself off after falling off a five-level balcony. He's been shot, stabbed, pulverised, had a finger severed off. For the Bont, a smashed and aching knee, a bruised heel and the trauma associated with 266 AFL matches stands no chance of stopping him. Bont's also got the Keanu Reeves quality hair.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Elijah Hollands case was one the industry should not have been subjected to ...

THEN ...

its finalisation through sanction and messaging this week will hopefully ensure no other player is again allowed to play a game in such questionable condition. With medicos and lawyers banding together on this, the AFL was never going to name and shame in its findings. And that was the right call. But I still reckon the 75k fine handed to the Blues was light.