IF
 		 THEN
 
Adelaide
 		 Jenkins is locked away... ... the focus on Crouch intensifies. In ripping form right now, and while the Crows are confident he stays, there are some very nice offers out there.
Brisbane Lions
 		 Brett Ratten hasn't received a call yet ... ... he will soon.
Carlton
 		 there was one thing we really admired about Boltons coaching last week ... ... it was his preparedness to send Weitering forward.
Collingwood
 		 we liked Clarko's pre-match revving up of Port Adelaide two weeks ago ... ... we really liked Bucks' near-taunting of North this week. Should be more of it. And please, hopefully no one holds it against him if the Pies lose.
Essendon
 		 Bomber Thompson ever coaches again ... ... we will be mightily surprised.
Fremantle
 		 Ross The Boss knew he could get away with it ... ... he'd be meeting Jesse Hogan (who's in town for a game against the Eagles) somewhere in Perth this weekend. And maybe even invite Cam McCarthy too.
Geelong
 		 you're a Cats fan and you heard Chris Scott answer questions about a possible Gary Ablett return to the Cattery on Footy Classified ... ... you've been daydreaming this week.
Gold Coast
 		 Gary Ablett wanted to totally shut the door on a possible return to the Cattery ... ... he actually left it a little open in his interview on Thursday night.
Greater Western Sydney

 		 Marchbank is on this list next year ... ... the Blues aren't going to be happy.
Hawthorn
 		 there's a more underrated player in the comp than Ben Stratton ... ... we'd like to know who it is. Maybe Heath Grundy? Sean Dempster?
Melbourne
 		 you're Jack Grimes ... ... we're suggesting you get outta there. You'll have takers.
North Melbourne you said 10 weeks ago that Brown would loom as more crucial to a decent finals campaign than Petrie and Waite ... ... we would've thought you were silly.
Port Adelaide
 		 we said in Sliding Doors in round one that Wingard could kick 65 ... ... we got it wrong. But we don't step away from still ranking him among the elite. And he's still our favourite to watch.
Richmond
 		 Tyrone Vickery really wants to stay a Tiger ... ... he's going to have to drop his asking price. A lot.
St Kilda
 		 there's one thing we really admire ... ...  it is a player who seeks greater opportunity at another club, and then performs at a high level. Well done, Membrey.
Sydney Swans
 		 Michael Talia was Luke Parker or Buddy Franklin or Dan Hannebery ... ... he wouldn't have been stood down.
West Coast
 		 you look up "journeyman" in the Oxford ... ... there's a photo of Jon Giles.
Western Bulldogs Koby Stevens' signature didn't seem so important a couple weeks ago... ...  it does now. 34 touches and two goals in round 17.
  And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ...  
AFL you're going to pay that free kick against Firrito ... ... that's fine. But please don't confuse us by not paying such free kicks this week. We're not confident.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian