STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season approaching a dramatic conclusion, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

there is a lot of pressure on a lot of football clubs right now ...

THEN ...

none with more on it than Adelaide. Simply has to win a "real" final, and it is going to have to go through a wildcard final, for the season to mean anything.

IF ..

there are a lot of highly anticipated match-ups for the Friday night lights game against the Magpies ...

THEN ...

the potential Josh Dunkley-Nick Daicos one looms largest. Daicos can't be stopped. But Dunkley would go closer to stopping him than any other player.

IF ...

I've long advocated for senior coaches to return to the days of wearing a suit and tie on game day – think Denis Pagan and Mark Williams ...

THEN ...

the Frase Hoodie also goes OK. Josh Fraser has got this gig doing things in his very own, very unique ways. What a story.

IF ...

I was Fly ...

THEN ...

I'd be resting everyone. But I'm not, and he clearly wants to test the Lions under the MCG Friday night lights. I love it. Howe, Sidebottom recalled, Daicos and De Goey selected. Can't miss wildcard, but Fly's not mucking around on the possibilities of something very special in 2026.

IF ...

anyone other than the beleaguered and destroyed Solly at Essendon is able to talk in front of a camera and into a microphone ...

THEN ...

come on down! Welshy? Tim? And then please explain what's going on with Craig Vozzo, who left the club in a mess after three years as CEO but now thinks his opinion should count in the choice of the next coach.

IF ...

I was in charge of selection at the Dockers for this meaningless game in Melbourne in round 24 ...

THEN ...

there is zero chance I would be asking Hayden Young to get on a plane. Of all the rockstars in this team, Young arguably holds the key to the flag.

IF ...

the Cats are currently sixth ...

THEN ...

they're going to want to stay sixth. In this year's finals, the winner of the six-versus-seven elimination final is at least going enter the series with more hope than the fifth-versus-eighth one. 

IF ...

anyone connected with the Suns dares to think a win in a soulless Thursday night match against an equally underwhelming St Kilda is a positive way to finish the season ...

THEN ...

they are delusional. The 2026 season was nothing but a mess. And now Ben King is officially out.

IF ...

the Giants no longer want Jakey Stringer ...

THEN ...

a Melbourne-based club will. Has been very good the past two seasons at his third club. Should he kick a goal against Adelaide on Saturday night, will record his second-best goals return of his 14-season career. Has good footy left in him.

IF ...

the fourth-placed Hawks, upon entering round 24, are roughly 40 points in arrears in catching third-placed Brisbane on percentage ...

THEN ...

that's going to make Sunday night's game against the hapless West Coast, in the last of the 2026 season's 207 home and away matches, very interesting. At least there's something to look forward to in round 24. Third place on the ladder is the coveted slot this year, after the events of this week.

IF ...

the Demons fought the fight and took the Jacob van Rooyen case through all of the ridiculous AFL avenues within the AFL's judiciary process ...

THEN ...

it was always going to be a futile exercise. This three-match absence will hurt. Jakey Melksham overlooked for the first of those games. Tipping him to be in the Dees' wildcard final team.

IF ...

I've been regularly critical of North for the past seven seasons ...

THEN ...

I don't resile. But I will concede there has been a form of improvement in 2026. My great fear is that it will not translate to finals in 2027 unless at least one quality key back is added in the trade period.

IF ...

you fell for the one about Zak Butters trying to get back from very serious injury for round 24 ...

THEN ...

you might also believe the world is flat. And in an industry full of spin, that one had Shane Warne-level rotations.

IF ...

you search "unwatchable" in the 2026 AFL dictionary ...

THEN ...

there's an accompanying picture of the Tigers. A dreadful, embarrassing season. And Geelong at the Cattery on Saturday night still to come. With Jez Cameron back for the Cats. I fear 2027 will be no better. 

IF ...

Andrew Bassat felt the need to sack Brett Ratten, less than a hundred days after he re-contracted him, following consecutive 10th placed finishes in 2021 and 2022 ...

THEN ...

I wonder what he's going to do after watching his golden child Ross The Boss produce 12th, 12th and a likely 11th (and possibly 12th) in 2024, 2025 and 2026. Nothing has changed.

IF ...

the Bloods culture was always an overused and overblown take on this club's way of life ...

THEN ...

last Monday morning proved it. No slogan survives this.

IF ...

Nick Daicos somehow didn't win the Collingwood best-and-fairest award last year ...

THEN ...

surely Harley Reid can't somehow not win the Eagles' John Worsfold Medal this year. 

IF ...

the Bont is back ...

THEN ...

Bailey Dale returning after five weeks on the sidelines with a shoulder is nearly as big. Could still cause some damage in September.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

IF nearly all of the top tier of Marvel Stadium on Thursday night was empty ...

THEN ...

the middle tier could've been declared a no-go-zone, too. And even then, there might have been empty seats at ground level. Thursday night footy shouldn't look like this, in venue or on TV.