STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season approaching a dramatic conclusion, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

Collingwood and Carlton get through the wildcard finals ...

THEN ...

the Pies will be Adelaide's opponent in an elimination final at Adelaide Oval on Saturday week. Ouch. Last year's qualifying final will be at the forefront of thoughts.

IF ..

we've seen a very well stage-managed mutual sipping of Boost juices at an airport, a subsequent well-planned post-match PDA, and not just one but two "explosive" podcasts this week out of his control ...

THEN ...

none of it is capable of adversely affecting the football being played by Lachie Neale. He won't win a third Brownlow this year, but I reckon he's a massive chance to be on the podium for the fifth time (wins in 2020 and 2023, second in 2022, third in 2019). What a player, and soon off to a third club.

IF ...

it was all to end on Saturday night against a badly banged-up Demons outfit ...

THEN ...

the previous 14 weeks would ultimately have amounted to nothing. No JVR, Lever or Jefferson for the Dees. Blues can't stop now.

IF ...

Bruz Maynard's footy skills are being badly missed through knee injury ...

THEN ...

arguably his nastiness and standover ways will be even more missed in the Friday night lights wildcard final against Western Bulldogs. Might be up to Lachie Schultz to fill that void this week.

IF ...

Spike and Welshy had a really strong week of positive messaging ...

THEN ...

that's all it is: messaging. And we've heard it all before with this club. David Barham blasted in as an "agent for some sort of change" in 2022 when he sacked Ben Rutten and appointed Brad Scott. Let's see the action.

IF ...

others are worried about the Dockers' two losses - to Melbourne at the MCG and Carlton at Marvel Stadium - from their last three home-and-away season matches ...

THEN ...

I'm not. Rested key players late in the year, and time-managed many others in games. Close to the perfect preparation for a tilt at an inaugural flag.

IF ...

the Cats are already on the nose with seemingly every non-Geelong supporting fan ...

THEN ...

they will be reeking - four-day old prawn shells left out in 42-degree heat kind-of reeking – should they land both Toby Greene and Zak Butters. And the Cats could not care less what you think.

IF ...

the Suns have regularly faced crossroads in 16 seasons in the AFL 

THEN ...

they're again there, just three seasons into Dimma's coaching tenure. Losing 10 consecutive matches after a 7-3 start was soul destroying. Ben King walking out even more so.

IF ...

Hogan and Stringer are no longer wanted, and Toby chooses to leave 

THEN ...

over to you, Aaron Cadman and Max Gruzewski. And good luck.

IF ...

James Sicily was the Hawks' most important player when Sam Mitchell headed into his first finals series as coach in 2024, and very nearly got his team into a preliminary when changing the course of the game after being swung forward in the last quarter against Port Adelaide in a semi-final 

THEN ...

'Sic' enters the 2026 finals series with a few question marks. Just hasn't had his usual impact in recent big games. But he's a proven big-time player, and I'm backing him to be prominent against the Dockers first-up.

IF ...

Jacob van Rooyen's hit on Aliir Aliir and subsequent three-match ban was a major setback for the Demons' fairytale storyline ...

THEN ...

the unavailability of Jake Lever and Matthew Jefferson for Saturday night's wildcard final is borderline catastrophic.

IF ...

you look up the phrase "control freak" in the AFL dictionary 

THEN ...

THEN there are accompanying pictures of Clarko (and Ross The Boss). Clarko wouldn't like being made to enter the 2027 season without a contract to coach beyond that year. But that is exactly what the North Melbourne board should make him do. Jury still out on whether he can turn this joint around.

IF ...

it was all lovey-dovey early in the week, with Zak Butters in a Power polo and using the Power social media channels to confirm he wants out, along with the CEO Matthew Richardson wishing him all the best 

THEN ...

let's see how this plays out from here. The love-in has come to an end. It's business now. 

IF ...

the Tigers copped a lot of unnecessary and, in my opinion, unfair media coverage for their pub antics on Monday ...

THEN ...

they still should've been more mature. Immature off field, immature and unwatchable on field. Thankfully they won't be playing again in 2026. Need a massive off-season in every facet of football operations.

IF ...

Shaun Mannagh was 28 when he won the AFL Coaches Association's best young player award in 2025 

THEN ...

Max Hall is a spring chicken at 24. Mannagh's age forced the AFLCA to change the award's title to best emerging player, a gong Hall was this week adjudged to share with the Dockers' looming superstar Murphy Reid. Hall's story is a brilliant one. Two knee recos in junior footy. Toil in the local leagues, then a VFL stint. An AFL look-in via the 2024 midseason draft. And now two seasons of excellence in the AFL. 

IF ...

chairman Pridham said the Swans season was “torpedoed” when his board issued season-ending bans to Isaac Heeney, Chad Warner, Nick Blakey, James Jordon and Riley Bice

THEN ...

that doesn't mean they can't win a final. Brisbane first up in a qualifying final. Maybe not that one. But a semi-final at the SCG. That's the one. There's still enough talent in this team to do some damage, somewhere.

IF ...

the Eagles failed to win a game after round 12 and finished with a percentage in the 60s ...

THEN ...

they're clearly still in that rock-bottom phase. Ladder finish 16th, following ladder finishes of 18th, 16th, 18th and 17th. No reason to think that 2027 won't be another bottom four result.

IF ...

on-the-edge Bevo is the most effective Bevo ...

THEN ...

he's in that zone right now. Was well within his rights to be bemused by Collingwood getting access to Marvel Stadium for a training session this week. Bring on Friday at the MCG. Tipping The Bont to be best afield, regardless of result.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Cats should have lodged the Jake Kolodjashnij contract with the AFL 

THEN ...

the AFL was justified in hitting the club with a $100k fine (plus another $40k for a previously suspended infringement). The Cats' actions allowed Kolodjashnij to continue playing when an AFL concussion panel refused to give a green light. They allowed him to earn at least another $1 million, and probably more, from football. And he also reached the 200-game milestone on this contentious period. But it was super messy. And it cannot be allowed to occur again.