Sliding Doors: IF Essendon needs another quick half-time laugh ... THEN

WITH the AFL season nearing its climax, Sliding Doors is in top form.

>> See more Sliding Doors here

So what's Damo saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? Check it out.

Adelaide Crows

IF ...

the past three seasons haven't been good ...

THEN ...

don't forget the previous 11 when analysing Bryce Gibbs' career. A very good player over a long time, and unfortunate to play for two clubs while they were enduring historical lows.

09:12

Brisbane Lions

IF ...

the "Harris Andrews Football Club" was to become registered ...

THEN ...

sign me up as a member. My second favourite AFL defender behind Jeremy McGovern. And no matter how sternly Chris Fagan says the Lions can cover him, they won't be winning a flag without him.

01:59

Carlton

IF ...

you tally up the broken feet, the ruptured ACL, the smashed ankles, the serious complications with an elevated heart and the dozens of other parts of his body that have hurt since he played his first game in 2008 ... 

THEN ...

it is actually extraordinary Matty Kreuzer reached 189 AFL matches. Unfortunately never got a fair crack at producing his prodigious talent.

 Collingwood

IF ...

you're a Collingwood supporter ...

THEN ...

you're probably a nervous wreck right now as you keep refreshing the ladder predictor. You'd be well aware you simply must defeat the Suns on Monday, because Port Adelaide the following Monday in the final home-and-away match of 2020 looms very scarily.

Essendon

IF ...

Essendon players need another quick half-time laugh this week ...

THEN ...

they could watch a "highlights" package of their first half against Geelong. Now that was a joke.

18:37

Fremantle

IF ...

he hadn't before round 16 secured the 2020 Rising Star ... 

THEN ...

by the end of it, after another solid performance, Caleb Serong could virtually touch it. A very impressive 19-year-old.

01:05

Geelong Cats

IF ...

both Gaz and Joel return in round 18 after extended layoffs ...

THEN ...

the premiership tilt will be perfectly placed. Gaz looking better by the day in the AFL's Gold Coast quarantine hub.

 Gold Coast Suns

IF ...

the Suns had shown some signs of genuine excitement in 2020 ...

THEN ...

the first quarter against the Lions on Wednesday night was a boys-versus-men reality check. Still a very long way off the very best.

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS

GWS Giants

IF ...

anyone knows the whereabouts of the Orange Tsunami ...

THEN ...

please contact Leon Cameron. Been AWOL for a long time now and unless it returns in the next fortnight, Giants won't be making finals.

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS

Hawthorn

IF ...

I was a bookmaker ... 

THEN ...

I'd have Clarko at $1.08 to have yet another sook this weekend. He's on an unstoppable Winx-like streak right now.

08:02

Melbourne

IF ...

Viney is considering options and Brayshaw, too, gets another offer he needs to deeply consider .. 

THEN ...

the Dees will have even more massive problems added to those which have already ruined another season of football.

00:24

North Melbourne

IF ...

the Roos really want Ben Brown to stay, and he really wants to stay ... 

THEN ...

club and player will be making a very clear statement to that effect very soon. Tick, tick, tick.

00:52

Port Adelaide

IF ...

the Power really want to rock things up with their victory songs ...

THEN ...

Hamish Hartlett on the drums should be joined by big Charlie in mirror-sunnies on lead vocals and Xavier Duursma in a singlet and face paint on guitar. And the uber-cool Boaky on keyboard.

01:04

Richmond

IF ...

the Richmond brand has been severely tarnished in recent weeks ... 

THEN ...

with the way the AFL world often works, a lot of those problems would seemingly disappear if the Tigers managed to beat the Cats on Friday night in what might be the match of the year.

St Kilda

IF ...

he's had a really nice first proper season of footy ...

THEN ...

Max King has still missed some goals he should’ve kicked, including a couple of crucial ones against West Coast on Thursday night. But Brad Hill’s miss was inexcusable, and it let the Eagles back in. A poor loss against a depleted, very gettable opponent, and now massive self doubt about being finals worthy.

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS

Sydney Swans

IF ...

I really liked what I saw at the Swans by the end of last year ...

THEN ...

I've been equally disappointed this season. Haven't made any obvious progress, and Tuesday's capitulation against an equally ordinary Carlton was embarrassing.

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS

West Coast Eagles

IF ...

there were seven key players unavailable before the game even started and Gov broke down before half-time ... 

THEN ...

the Eagles had no right to win. But Kelly played his best game for the club, Nic Nat was outstanding as always, and the other leaders stood up when required. Don’t write this mob off just yet.

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS

Western Bulldogs

IF ...

the 2020 season has been a frustrating one for Josh Dunkley due to an ankle injury ... 

THEN ...

he finally looked to be back to his best last Sunday against West Coast. As important to the Dogs' chances as anyone on their list.

05:34

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Bulldogs cleverly pushed the boundaries on the rules around handballing to help them win a premiership in 2016 ...

THEN ...

four years later every single team is also doing it. Umpires need to call out the throws out immediately. As for the totally incorrect disposals when tackled, well, that's a whole different story.