1. Paid per six minutes of game time
IN HIGHLIGHTING some of the AFL's most underrated players, Anthony Hudson noted on Wednesday that Hawthorn's ruck pairing of Taylor & Campbell sounded more like a firm of solicitors.
Now while Huddo's observations were again spot-on, The Four Points respectfully thinks that, as far as law firm names go, Taylor & Campbell is pretty rattus fimus.
There's plenty of wonderful names rattling around the lists of AFL clubs which the Four Points thinks could make pretty special combinations, professional services-wise.
Black, White & Scarlett could be retained by the St Kilda footy club. Schmidt, Tuck & Hunt would be the go-to men in cases where rhyming slang goes wrong; and Head, Dick & Laycock could specialise in . . . well, perhaps they'd be better off in Chambers.

And, of course, for all things trade marked or otherwise protected by intellectual property laws, there's Jarred, Jarrad, Jarrod & Jarryd.
2. And his lips didn't even move!   

AFTER surrendering last quarter leads in recent weeks, Fremantle has gained the unwanted tag of the AFL's fade-out kings. But at least help is at hand.

"I've had tarot card readers, gypsies and a ventriloquist all writing to me thinking they can help," Freo coach Mark Harvey told the media on Wednesday.

Interesting. But helpful?

Tarot card readers can tell you when you'll lose but not how to avoid it -- unless the Death card actually means 'move Pav onto the ball early in the third quarter and play Heath Black as the loose man across half-back'.

Gypsies have some powerful magic . . . yeah right. That's why they spend their days in caravans tinkering with pots.

And ventriloquists? Well, if Harves thinks his team will respond favourably to a three-quarter time address delivered whilst simultaneously drinking a glass of water, then the Four Points is all for giving it a go.

3. Pity the little skin folds
FAT beware. The day after Jimmy Bartel's deep fried Mars bar lamentations comes the news that Bombers' champ Scott Lucas, as part of his rehabilitation from a knee injury, has gone tora, tora, tora on the epidermis.
“The way Scott’s attacked his rehabilitation, his skin folds, his attention to detail, has just been enormous for nearly 10 to 12 weeks,” said Essendon coach Matthew Knights.
Just what shape does an enormous attack on skin folds take? And what about the flanking manoeuvre on attention to detail? The Four Points isn't sure but we reckon Lucas's skin folds and attention to detail should note the fate of the last attribute he waged war upon: his right foot.
4. Don't mention the war

DESPITE what those liars the Bee Gees told us, the word is in fact 'soft'.

St Kilda coach Ross Lyon reckons his team is soft, and skipper Nick Riewoldt concurs.

Indeed 'soft' is also the word on the lips of the AFL following the release of its 2007 Injury Report. The Report showed a reduction in head and neck injuries but also outlined intentions to target soft tissue injuries such as groins and hamstrings -- conditions some now believe to be outside of doctors' control.

If that is the case, someone obviously forgot to tell this bloke.

German physician Dr Hans-Wilhelm Muller-Wolfhart, or Hans-Wilhelm Muller-Wolfhart to his friends, has successfully treated the hamstrings of Geelong's Max Rooke, and now Tiger Mark Coughlan is finishing up his treatment, which consists of being injected with extract of rooster crest and honey or calves' blood . . . geez, obvious when you think about it, isn't it?

So like steins and oom-pah bands, groins and hamstrings are now synonymous with Germany.

But don't ask Coughlan's Richmond teammate Jay Schultz about the treatment. The Four Points reckons he would know nothssing, nothssing!

What to look out for on afl.com.au this Thursday

Stat me to the moon

If all the AFL stats were lined up end on end, they'd stretch from earth to the moon. Play among the stars with Hardy, Rodski and Stats City.

Mystery player column

A good read from a mystery AFL player. A hint: The player's surname is also a first name, which rules out Laycock and Head but what about Dick?


We get pretty heavy here at afl.com.au when it comes to team lists. Come here to get your AFL teams first, or else!

Grab an armful of Greyhound
Coaches, that is. Today we'll hear what's cookin' at Brisbane, Adelaide, Melbourne and Essendon. Yummy.

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.