*Wacker on the Wing was the name of the original one-eyed Carlton column by the late Frank Strachan. It ran in the old Carlton News (now The Melbourne Times) for over 25 years. Terry Maher ran it as Einstein on the Wing for about 12 years and has now taken it back to its spiritual home at carltonfc.com.au

G’day Digs and Bluebells,

The footy’s back in Old Carlton Town. And so are the Blueboys and most of our members who have been having a big kip since the 1995 Grand Final. Wake up you sleepyheads. The sky is blue and so are you.

You haven’t missed a thing since you’ve been gone (well, Collingwood lost a few grand finals but what’s new). It’s time to become a born-again Carlton supporter because we have a whole generation of 12-year-olds who have never seen or celebrated a Carlton premiership. These underprivileged children should be put out of their misery as soon as possible. I can die happy because I’ve seen eight since 1968. But there is always room for a few more…

We welcome all the new boys to the Blueboys. There’s something old, something new, something borrowed – and all of it Blue. We trust there is a messiah in there somewhere. Dick Pratt is El Presidente and he’s sporting a stylish blue jacket that he will wave to stir up the fans. Lance Whitnall is the skip who is full of brotherly love. Greg Swann, the chief exec who broke Eddie’s heart. Steven Icke is the footy manager who brings it all together. Then there’s us: the Digs and Bluebells who love the club and love the colors.

What else is new? Kouta has finger-knack (he should chop it off, we reckon) and five new blokes were selected on Sunday to wear the famous navy blue strip. You can tell them by they way they walk. But after a couple of months of training, they will develop a Geoff Southby-like swagger and start chasing passing cars and mouthing-off at other inanimate objects. It’s the Carlton way.

In Athens, there are two teams called Panathinaikos and Olympiakos who really hate each others’ guts. They play each other in soccer, basketball, dodgem cars and Russian roulette. The other day they played each other at women’s volleyball and in the pre-game touch-up, one fan was fatally stabbed. Women’s volleyball is nice but it is not a cause to die for. As a result, all Greek team sports, including football, have been suspended for 15 days.

If there are two teams in Melbourne that really don’t like each other – that’s players, ex-players, administrators, supporters, their colours, their suburbs, restaurants and everything else about them – than it has to be Carlton and Richmond.

That’s because they once dominated the old VFL in bygone days and loved nothing better than to beat the beejesus out of each other. Richmond won in 1967, Carlton 1968, Richmond in 1969, Carlton in 70, 72, 79, Richmond in 73 74 and 1980, Carlton in 81, 82, 87 and 95.

That Carlton smashed the paper tigers at the MCG “fulfillment centre” before a crowd of 60,000 on Sunday, was indeed, most enjoyable. As the great Ger Loughnane once said: “To some, Carlton beating Richmond is not that important in the great scheme of things. But to Carlton people, beating Richmond IS the great scheme of things.”

My first gold skull cap of the season was going to go young Bryce Gibbs for snagging a goal with his first kick – a singular honour in the Carlton firmament. But I’ve paid it instead to Setanta “Carlos” O’hAilpin, our very own hound of Culainn, who put in a pearler at fullback and destroyed Mary Shelley’s Matty Richardson. Silvers go to Bryce Gibbs, Nick Stevens, Jarrad Waite and all the other new boys.

We’d like to send a big cherrio to Shane Whitnall and all you other beaten Richmond fans who made our evening so enjoyable. On Saturday night we’ve got the Pussycats at the Optus Dome. Be there, or be square.

When we beat Geelong, we will be so high up the ladder that my nose will bleed. Get on the bandwagon while there’s still room. Carna Blues! – TERRY MAHER

Please Note: the views expressed in the above article are solely the opinion of the author and do not reflect the opinions of the Carlton Football Club or those employees of the Club. The Carlton Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of those supporters who contribute to carltonfc.com.au.