IF you want to wear prison bars every single match  ... THEN. Picture: AFL Media

WITH the 2021 Toyota AFL Premiership season up and running, naturally, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is also up and about.

So what's Damo saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? Check it out.

IF ...

you're in your seventh season and have played just nine matches  ...

THEN ...

this could be the last dice roll. But if Billy Frampton maintains anything like the form of round one 2021, where he had real presence in a fantastic win, he might still make it.

IF ..

the Lions had a dream run of home state matches in 2020 ...

THEN ...

they'll get a reality check Friday night at the Cattery. A season-shaper, this round two game. Don't need to win, but certainly need to play well on the Friday night stage.

IF ...

I said it last week and many times last year ...

THEN ...

may as well say it again. There are lots of words coming out of this joint's footy department, not enough meaningful on-field action.

IF ...

you properly analysed the round one loss to the Dogs ...

THEN ...

it wasn't that bad. Order restored against the Blues on Thursday night. And Brodie Grundy is baaaack.

IF ...

the round one loss against Hawthorn was bad enough after holding a seven-goal lead at half-time ...

THEN ...

matches against Port Adelaide, St Kilda, Sydney, Brisbane and Collingwood loom as even more ugly.

IF ...

Justin Longmuir is looming as a future star coach ...

THEN ...

he's going to need to draw on every bit of his talents to get the Dockers through the early stages of a season where key personnel are unavailable.

IF ...

the Cats are to finally fix their ruck woes ...

THEN ...

it's time to give the two-time best-and-fairest winner Blicavs the main responsibilities, with Stanley as back-up. No one will be able to go with Blicavs for an entire match.  

IF ...

recent history is anything to go by ...

THEN ...

the Suns start seasons very well. Were more than OK in a loss in Perth last week against the Eagles, should account for the Roos.

IF ...

a lot went wrong in the season-opener against St Kilda  ...

THEN ...

the debut of Matt Flynn was one of the few positives. Had a genuine, unbridled crack.

IF ...

the 11 games he played last year were a sign of the stardom to come ...

THEN ...

Will Day started his second season even better than he completed his first. A super talent.

IF ...

I need a new favourite this season to add to Bailey Smith, Michael Walters and Toby Greene  ...

THEN ...

Kossy Pickett is looming large. Something very special.

IF ...

certain powers that be at North Melbourne spent as much time focusing on the litany of problems within their own operations as they do the contents of this column  ...

THEN ...

their club wouldn't be as broken as it is. Although that would also mean a certain reporter would actually have to find a real story. Go off and monitor all of that.

IF ...

you want to wear prison bars every single match  ...

THEN ...

I couldn’t care less. Just do it. I find the talk about the look and colour of guernseys just about the most inane topic in footy. Just make sure it doesn’t clash with the opposition and move on.

IF ...

Dusty, Cotch, Riewoldt, Prestia, Grimes, Lynch and Edwards usually attract the headlines ...

THEN ...

Jack Graham is about to join them. Great finals series in 2020, a blistering start to 2021.

IF ...

Spud's Game: Time 2 Talk is one match of one round in 2021 ...

THEN ...

expect it to be all nine matches of a round of footy by next season. That's what the incredible Anita Frawley wants. Going to be some tears at Marvel Stadium on Saturday night as the legacy of Danny Frawley moves into its next, most important, phase.

IF ...

I've been this excited about a return to football as I am about big Bud's re-entry this weekend ...

THEN ...

it might only have been Keith Greig's comeback after a knee reco in 1978. Can’t wait to see Bud play alongside Logan McDonald.

03:33

IF ...

Oscar Allen had shown massive potential in his first three seasons ...

THEN ...

his fourth will almost certainly be his official arrival as an A-grader. Sky. Limit.

IF ...

the Dogs have a midfield among the best in the comp ...

THEN ...

in the Eagles they're coming up against a team which probably boasts the comp's best batch of big men in Nic Nat, McGovern, Kennedy, Allen, Barrass, Darling. Intriguing match-up on Sunday afternoon.

00:46

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

I've been critical for at least a dozen years on how the game's judicial system deals with head contact  ...

THEN ...

massive plaudits for the strong finding, and more importantly, strong message sent by the Dangerfield suspension of three weeks. For the first time, everyone now knows what isn't acceptable.