IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing and no one and NO CLUB is safe.

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

Riley Thilthorpe is back for just his second game for the year ...

THEN ...

hope the No.2 pick in the 2020 national draft gets a sustained crack at senior footy this time round. Let's see what he's got.

IF ..

the Harley celebrations are back ...

THEN ...

so too is Charlie. By his standards, 2021 wasn't great. Season 2022 shaping very nicely. 23 goals from nine games, and lots of celebratory revs.

IF ...

Sam Docherty's back story is one of the most emotionally touching to ever unfold in the AFL ...

THEN ...

his 2022 footy story is extraordinary also. Surely he's being discussed by Therabody AFL All-Australian selectors.

IF ...

seemingly everyone else has been writing off Mason Cox ...

THEN ...

I won't be. He's clearly running out of time, though. Back for Sunday's match against the Dockers in Perth. Backing him in for a big one.

IF ...

the season is over from a finals perspective ...

THEN ...

it is still alive from a pride vantage point. Just nine matches in, pride is all that is left for 2022. Let's see who is prepared to stand up to Richmond on Saturday night. But even that's only a starting point to this massive mess.

IF ...

his junior days were in Adelaide, the first two years (2014-15) of his AFL life in Brisbane, the next four in Victoria at Collingwood (2016-19) where he played in a Grand Final and from 2020 in Perth as a Docker ...

THEN ...

James Aish has jammed a bit into his 26-year-old life. Playing some good footy in 2022 in this team making solid progress up the ladder.

IF ...

the Cats are one from two in '22 at the Cattery ...

THEN ...

they're far from certainties for game three, against Port Adelaide on Saturday. Fremantle has already stitched them up, and the Power are on a very nice roll.

IF ...

the round eight win against the Swans was really good and the round nine victory versus the Dockers even better ...

THEN ...

only a round 10 win against the Dogs in Ballarat on Saturday will remove my doubts about this team. Been burnt too many times before.

05:31 Mins
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Highlights: Gold Coast v Fremantle

The Suns and Dockers clash in round nine

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IF ...

anyone thinks James Hird has returned to coaching ranks purely to help out a mate ...

THEN ...

think again. Sure, he will be helping his long-time buddy, interim coach Spike McVeigh. But this is more than a toe in the Giants' coaching water.

IF ...

he hasn't been seen since round five ...

THEN ...

welcome back Changkuoth Jiath. A beautifully attacking player, a massive point of difference in an otherwise staid outfit.

IF ...

he was banged up physically and had been forced to toil in state leagues before getting his chance at AFL level for North Melbourne in 2014 ...

THEN ...

Ben Brown has compiled a fantastic career. Booted four goals in his first final in that debut year. Kicked three in last year's Grand Final, for Melbourne. Game No.150 on Saturday, against North, which didn't want him after the 2020 season. Might kick eight.

IF ...

Andrew Mackie once loudly asked a teammate if the Cats would still get four premiership points for defeating the Roos in a match ...

THEN ...

I wouldn't be surprised if Demons Jake Lever or Steven May sought the same clarification during this Saturday's match at Marvel Stadium. Combined points tally in North's losses in the past five weeks is 325.

IF ...

Jeremy Finlayson can add consistency to his obvious high-level skill set ...

THEN ...

he can become a crucial player for the Power. His best is very good, his worst frustratingly wasteful. Been a key to Port's big turnaround.

IF ...

Tom Lynch was Toby Greene ...

THEN ...

he wouldn't be playing this week. But he's not, so he is. Nothing to see in his in-play head high hit on Hawk Jarman Impey last week.

00:28 Mins
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Could Lynch find himself in MRO strife for this contact?

Tom Lynch may come under MRO scrutiny for collecting Jarman Impey high in this fend

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IF ...

there's a version of tough which most AFL players live by ...

THEN ...

there's also the high-end version adopted by Jack Steele. Did not flinch when he had his shoulder smashed against Geelong last week, played out the game in a display of incredible leadership. Now missing indefinitely.

IF ...

you close your eyes and take a slow, deep breath ...

THEN ...

you can see it. The SCG jam-packed on an early 2023 season Friday night, the house-full sign out the front, the Sydney CBD buzzing. Buddy and Dusty in the same forward line. Swans on top of the ladder. Don't rule it out.

IF ...

the physically smashed-up Eagles, somehow, defeated Collingwood in round four ...

THEN ...

no reason they can't beat the Giants in round 10. They're a mess, West Coast. GWS not going much better.

IF ...

there's at least a dozen Bulldogs players with bigger profiles than Alex Keath ...

THEN ...

there's only a half-dozen, maybe less, who can claim to be more important to operations. Returned from injury last week, immediately making his team look a whole lot better.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the negotiations between the AFL and the AFLPA over the women's competition dragged out ...

THEN ...

guess what? It happens every time. Also, without fail, both parties always walk away telling the public they've crunched the best possible deal. Will happen again at the end of the men's season, when that deal, too, needs to be struck. Rinse. Repeat.