WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season up and running, naturally, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is also up and about. 

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

the Crows have struggled, again, against the top-of-ladder teams ...

THEN ...

they go OK against those at the bottom end. Past two wins have been against the 18th and 17th outfits, North Melbourne and West Coast. Have a game on Sunday against the equal 16th team, Hawthorn. Must win it.

Ben Keays looks dejected after a loss during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ..

the Beast or the Barometer, or whatever nickname Rhys Mathieson goes by these days, hasn’t yet played in 2022 ...

THEN ...

surely his time has arrived on Sunday. With eight forced omissions, he deserves to be one of the ins.

01:12 Mins
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VFL Showreel, R14: Rhys Mathieson highlights

Enjoy Rhys Mathieson's standout VFL performance for the Lions

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IF ...

on paper and exposed form a match against the Eagles, anywhere, in 2022 would normally present as a guaranteed win ...

THEN ...

Sunday’s match is anything but. Danger game.

Carlton players look dejected after a loss during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Crows great Ben Hart was an All-Australian in his debut AFL season (1992) which started when he was just 17 years old, and then equally staggeringly backed up the performance in his second season ...

THEN ...

Nick Daicos is surely tracking for similar honours. Just 15 matches into his career, he is a lock as the NAB Rising Star, and is staking very real claims on an All-Australian jacket. 

Nick Daicos evades Tanner Bruhn during round 15, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the previous three Essendon wins this season have been followed by a loss ...

THEN ...

time to buck the trend in round 17. And it has a massive chance, as the Lions have been smashed with injury and illness protocols

Essendon players celebrate a win during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Sean Darcy has legitimate claims to the second 2022 All-Australian ruck spot, behind Max Gawn who must be tracking for a sixth jacket ...

THEN ...

one way to lock that in: beat Paddy Ryder on Saturday night.

Sean Darcy in action during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the winning streak is now at seven and the past two minus the best defender in the game, Tom Stewart ...

THEN ...

we have a very clear premiership favourite, regardless of what the bookmakers’ charts say. Toyed with the Demons on Thursday night. Just need to hold things together from here, and then not get sick en masse on preliminary final day.

Geelong players celebrate a goal during round 17, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Stuey Dew has been re-contracted through to the end of 2024 ...

THEN ...

that is well deserved, and I’m glad for him. But I still would’ve waited until the completion of the 2022 season before formalising anything. There’s a lot of footy still to be played this year.

Stuart Dew at a Gold Coast training session on May 10, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Jesse Hogan has been playing AFL for eight seasons ...

THEN ...

he’s a still-unfulfilled talent. A lot of off-field issues have got in the way of on-field prowess. But he's having a very solid back-half of 2022. Seems to be enjoying Mark McVeigh's ways.

00:40 Mins
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Hogan helps himself to fine snap after Ash assist

Jesse Hogan benefits after some fast hands from Lachie Ash

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IF ...

Hawthorn has lost nine of its past 10 matches ...

THEN ...

no wonder we haven’t heard much from Jeff lately. Was giving everyone advice about how to run their businesses early in the season, when the Hawks opened with a 3-2 start (including wins against Geelong and Port Adelaide, and a one-point loss to Carlton).

Jeff Kennett looks on during round 15, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the Demons got away with it last year ...

THEN ...

they won’t in 2022. The forward line is a major problem, particularly with Tom McDonald sidelined.

Melbourne players look dejected after a loss during round 17, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Peter Hudson himself once kicked 150 goals in a season ...

THEN ...

the North Melbourne Football Club still needs another 32 this year from the remaining seven games to equal him. Just think about that.

North Melbourne players are seen after a 112-point loss to Geelong during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

big Charlie is nearing 32 ...

THEN ...

it’s probably too late for a role change. But his work in the ruck last week was next level, and very nearly lifted his side to a most unlikely of comeback wins against the Dockers. I’d play him in the ruck for the rest of the year, and see if that can take them back to the finals.

Charlie Dixon and Sean Darcy contest the ruck during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Marlion Pickett was 27 before he got to play a game and will be 30 when he reaches game No.50, against the Suns on Saturday ...

THEN ...

he’s packed a lot into not merely his football career but life. Official votes from Norm Smith medal judges in his first game, a couple of flags. Maybe, just maybe, enough votes in the bank to launch from here for the 2022 Jack Dyer Medal. Unfortunate that he’s missed four matches.

Marlion Pickett in action during the R16 clash between Richmond and West Coast at the MCG on July 3. 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Marcus Windhager doesn’t yet have the capacity to accumulate a lot of disposals ...

THEN ...

he most certainly does have the ability to tally some very special ones. Looks like he’s got special talent.

Marcus Windhager in action during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the Swans were 5-1 and are now 9-6 ...

THEN ...

that’s the formline of an inconsistent team. Have beaten the Cats and Demons, lost to Essendon. I’ve still got them as a flag contender. They won’t be if they lose to the Dogs on Friday night.

Isaac Heeney leads a dejected Sydney team off the ground after the Swans round 16 loss to Essendon at the MCG on July 2, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Nic Nat hadn’t played for three months before last weekend’s hitout against the Tigers ...

THEN ...

in horse racing parlance, he will be better for the run. Was good in his comeback match, and poses a massive problem for the Blues on Sunday, as well as the other clubs with finals aspirations who must face the Eagles in the run home (St Kilda, Gold Coast, Fremantle, Geelong).

00:41 Mins
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Nic Nat's back with a bang

Nic Naitanui didn't need long to impact the scoreboard in his return game as he kicks this brilliant long-range snap on his opposite boot

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IF ...

the Bulldogs haven’t been able to find rhythm at any stage this season ...

THEN ...

there’s still time. Effectively, they’re on a last chance in round 17, against the Swans on Friday night.

Western Bulldogs players walk off the field after a loss during round 16, 2022. Picture: AFL Photos

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

more proof of an overhaul of the MRO-Tribunal system was required ...

THEN ...

it came in the form of Eric Hipwood pushing Ryan Gardner into an umpire. Incident occurred Thursday night. MRO not able to process it on Friday, sent it to the Tribunal. Incident formally assessed four nights after it took place, on Tuesday night. If Hipwood wanted to appeal its outcome, there would have been a Wednesday night Appeals Tribunal hearing. It’s so cumbersome and unnecessary, this system. Simple solution: the MRO must determine every single incident, not send everything with even a modicum of controversy to the "independent" Tribunal where lawyers often hijack the case.

00:56 Mins
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Hipwood benefits after umpire and Dog collide

A collision between a Bulldog and umpire allows Eric Hipwood to drift forward for an easy mark and goal

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