STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026. 

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

the Adelaide Crows are a football club ...

THEN ...

first and foremost they are a family. There is daylight between football and family this week. All thoughts with Jordan and the Dawson family.

IF ..

the great Lachie Neale is playing game 300 and the nearly-as-great (albeit without the Brownlows) Josh Dunkley game 200  ...

THEN ...

surely there is no way their 21 teammates who will be representing the Lions at the MCG on Sunday against Melbourne will allow this club to walk off without a win.

IF ...

Vossy is rightly copping the heat after yet another sizeable lead got eroded into a loss ...

THEN ...

fair enough. It is, ultimately, on him. And he knows that, and he will own that. But it is not his fault that his Coleman Medal winning full-forward, Harry McKay, kicked 1.4, the behinds very goal-able, and that he has just eight goals for the year from six matches. Two-time Brownlow Medallist Patty Cripps has lost his match-shaping ability. Talor Byrne missed not just the kick after the siren but a far easier one before that, and yes, I know he was playing just game No.4.

IF ...

Nick Daicos should have, in my eyes, already won two, maybe three, Brownlow Medals in a career spanning just four completed seasons ...

THEN ...

I really hope he finally gets properly looked after by umpires in season No.5. AFL.com.au colleague Cal Twomey this week brilliantly ranked his first 99 games. I'll leave the proper rankings to Cal, but if I was to rank the quarters within the 100 matches that he’s now been in a Collingwood guernsey, then quarter No.400, against Carlton at the MCG on Thursday night, was the best of one of the most extraordinary careers we have ever seen.

IF ...

the president had been media shy in recent times ...

THEN ...

what a way to re-engage. After an inaugural 2026 win, Welshy bobbed up out of nowhere in media and says: "We're of absolute belief that Brad (Scott) will be our next premiership coach." Love the confidence.

IF ...

Hayden Young is back ...

THEN ...

there is not one single on-paper flaw in this premiership aspirant team. Just hope he is right to go for the derby, and doesn't have another soft tissue in his legs give way. I reckon he's just about the most important facet of the Dockers' flag push.

IF ...

you go back to round one 2013 when a big, gangly ex-track and field self-confessed footy "nooby" (his own word, in a The Footy Show interview the night before the game) played his first match in the big-time and managed just one kick ...

THEN ...

it was 500-1 that that guy would reach 300 matches. Mark Blicavs. What a story. Two best-and-fairests in two very different roles. An All-Australian jacket. A flag. Chris Scott's Mr Fix-it in every single game. Is it OK to joke that he may have won six best-and-fairests if he ever learned the art of getting a drop punt to spin properly?

IF ...

the loss to Melbourne in round four was unexpected ...

THEN ...

the loss to Sydney in Gather Round was borderline equally worrying. Simply because the Suns looked like a Benchmark 64 horse against a Group 1 horse in that race.

IF ...

the Giants finally returned to the winners' list in Gather Round ...

THEN ...

I can't see them staying there in round six. Swans at the SCG under Friday night lights, with Cadman and Daniels once again unavailable, and still no sign of Taylor, is an assignment resembling Mission Impossible.

IF ...

Gunston and Chol are out ...

THEN ...

it's going to be great to see Will McCabe make his debut and Calsher Dear get back to the big time. They've got options, the Hawks.

IF ...

you're familiar with the term "drinking your own bathwater" ...

THEN ...

the Demons may have been guilty of that going into their Gather Round match against Essendon. Had a ripping start to the year under new coach Steven King. Hope the lacklustre effort against the Bombers proves to be the exception.

IF ...

the word moral should never be used in the same sentence as North Melbourne when assessing its chances of a win in a game of footy ...

THEN ...

the Roos should nevertheless comfortably defeat Richmond on Sunday.

IF ...

Port Adelaide players last Sunday night displayed half the passion of Power officials in the days after in defending the integrity of Zak Butters in his MRO/Tribunal case against umpire Nick Foot ...

THEN ...

they would have at least been competitive to the very end of their Gather Round match against St Kilda. Looked a mile off, those players. Unless they start to gel, going to be an ugly season.

IF ...

Samson Ryan drew the ire of his coach Adem Yze for an errant hit on Jordon Sweet in round four ...

THEN ...

now that he's back for a round six match against a Tristan Xerri-less North Melbourne, he owes the Tigers a big game.

IF ...

the big-dollar recruits all still have question marks hovering over their heads ...

THEN ...

the one over Jack Silvagni isn't as bold after his Gather Round heroics. Has always had footy smarts, starting to find his groove.

IF ...

Justin McInerney had been a solid player for seven seasons ...

THEN ...

in season No.8 he's progressed to one of the Swans' most important. Loving the run, the goals, the presence.

IF ...

Elliot Yeo is back ...

THEN ...

that's a very big positive. But there aren't many other positives when it comes to the Eagles' chances in Sunday's derby against Freo.

IF ...

celebrities when they fly into Melbourne sometimes want to get the "authentic" local experience ...

THEN ...

I reckon Prince Harry would've got just that when he spent time with Tom Liberatore during the week. Hopefully the Prince is flying back to watch Libba play under Friday night lights at the Cattery. That would be another authentic local experience.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

you're a regular reader of this column ...

THEN ...

given the week we've just had at the Tribunal, you'll know what’s about to come. Having long advocated for an overhaul of the AFL judiciary system, here we go again. Umpires, Match Review Office, Tribunal, Appeals Tribunal. To me, it is regularly a mess, for myriad reasons. All four bodies have been known at times to have vastly different takes on what is, and isn't allowed in our game. We have seen a match day tackle rewarded with a free kick to a player, only for that player to be cited by the MRO for that same tackle, then for the Ttribunal to agree with the MRO, then have the Appeals Tribunal throw the case out. This week, we saw a he-said-they-said matter soak up countless hours and resources, all to get to a very minor financial fine as the outcome. And now, that same case is off to the Appeals Tribunal – to be held next Monday, after Zak Butters plays another game of footy! All to determine who is able to present themselves, via lawyers and legal argy bargy, better in a "courtroom". Not to mention a Tribunal panel member being dialled in via his car, and the panel chair needing to head off to a previously scheduled engagement, as well as a very long delay in getting the official findings to Butters and the Power. Here's my regularly offered two bobs' worth on this. Scrap the Appeals Tribunal. The first Tribunal is actually the "appeal" tribunal, and the only tribunal required in the judiciary structure. But more importantly in my eyes, scrap the idea that the head of the MRO needs to be a "consultant". That person (currently Michael Christian) should be full-time. And remember, just one week before this Butters saga, two and a half hours were somehow soaked up by lawyers and tribunal panel members determining Will Hayward's guilt in making contact with George Wardlaw, in a split second football motion.