WITH the AFL season in full swing, Sliding Doors is hitting its straps.

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So what's Damo saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? Check it out.

Adelaide Crows

IF ...

Tex Walker has copped an extraordinary amount of criticism – some of it fair, most of it not - throughout his footy journey ...

THEN ...

hopefully everyone can take a breather on him this week and acknowledge his 200-game milestone. There have been better Crows players in the club's 30-year AFL life, but none more loyal nor more prepared to put the club ahead of himself every single time it has been smashed.

12:25 Mins
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Toe to Toe with Damo: Tex on tough times, Lever, regrets

Taylor Walker sits down with Damian Barrett to discuss his struggles as captain, how he handled Jake Lever's departure, and more

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Brisbane Lions

IF ...

Mitch Robinson wants to double down publicly on his opinion of Tom Lynch ...

THEN ...

bring it on. Hope he does. Surely we're all mature enough to handle this. It is his opinion. He doesn't care if it's not your opinion. To everyone feigning disgust here, suggesting that Robinson needs to apologise or change his ways, please just move on and find something meaningful to moralise about.

Carlton

IF ...

Eleven matches into this tumultuous season I'm no clearer on the Blues' big picture credentials ... 

THEN ...

I am, though, sold on their watchability. Have played in six matches decided by seven points or less, winning four of them. Did a Clint Eastwood and escaped from Alcatraz last weekend, against the Dockers.

00:57 Mins
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Jaw-dropping shot after siren seals Carlton win

Blues recruit Jack Newnes couldn't have struck the footy any more sweetly to give his side the victory

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 Collingwood

IF ...

there are games that simply must be won in a season ...

THEN ...

the Pies have one Monday night: North Melbourne at the Gabba. No finals if they lose, given what lies ahead.

Essendon

IF ...

Woosha will be staying as coach until the end of the year ...

THEN ...

that doesn’t mean very serious questions aren’t being asked of other people and departments right now. Prez-in-waiting Paul Brasher starting to roll the sleeves up, rightly demanding answers of so many football people.

05:45 Mins
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Worsfold: 'We're very, very flat'

John Worsfold says his side needs to start their games off at a better intensity or risk getting no reward for their improved second-half efforts

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Fremantle

IF ...

you haven't heard the name Liam Henry ... 

THEN ...

plonk yourself in a couch on Saturday night, and watch him make his AFL debut. So big is the buzz about this kid that it might just be one of those moments … where were you the night Henry played his first game?

Geelong Cats

IF ...

big Josh Jenkins has been right to go for a couple of weeks ...

THEN ...

I can’t see why he wouldn’t be unleashed on Sunday, against his old team, the Crows. Hawkins is going to need some well-muscled support at some stage this year, Jenkins nicely poised to time his personal run at the finals.

 Gold Coast Suns

IF ...

three of the Suns' past five matches have been decided by less than five points, not one of them going their way ...

THEN ...

a statement still needs to be made in their remaining five matches – Blues tonight, Roos, Lions, Pies, Hawks. Honourable losses are better than beltings, but ultimately they mean nothing.

06:05 Mins
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Highlights: Richmond v Gold Coast

The Tiger and Suns clash in round 12

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GWS Giants

IF ...

the Giants appear terribly out of form after their 41-point mauling by the Swans last week ...

THEN ...

there are easier opponents in their next two matches than Perth assignments against the Eagles (on Sunday) and Dockers (Saturday week). We will know by then if they're going back to the finals.

Hawthorn

IF ...

Ben Stratton's future as a Hawk beyond the 2020 season is unknown to even him ... 

THEN ...

his past is something to very proud of. A three-time premiership player and as of this weekend, a 200-gamer. Was as crucial as any Hawthorn defender in their extraordinary success of 2013-15.

Melbourne

IF ...

Trac goes head to head with Bont for the entirety of Saturday's match at Metricon Stadium ... 

THEN ...

I will not be leaving the couch until it's done. Please, Goody, and please Bevo, just let 'em go for it, old-school style.

02:08 Mins
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Petracca warns comp he's arrived

Christian Petracca looks to have transformed to a new level in 2020 after another phenomenal performance

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North Melbourne

IF ...

Jed Anderson spent the off-season refining his disposal abilities ... 

THEN ...

he might be able to elevate himself into footy conversations involving the game's best midfielders. Unquestionable courage and desire to hunt the ball and opponents.

Port Adelaide

IF ...

"Houston, we have a problem" were the harshest words that Port footy boss Chris Davies may have delivered to his dynamic defender on Thursday when it became apparent Dan Houston and Peter Ladhams were being investigated for COVID-19 protocol breaches ...

THEN ...

I'd be surprised. Would've been entitled to blow right up. Port's premiership hopes had been tracking beautifully until this moment. At the very least, their AFL suspensions are an unnecessary distraction.

Richmond

IF ...

Lynch had a crack at Witherden in round 10, and Collins in round 12, and Mitch and Ox had a crack at Lynch, and Dimma had a crack back at Ox and Mitch ... 

THEN ...

I wish there was more of it. They're all big boys, they can all give it out, they can all take it, and none of it has crossed any serious line. What we don’t need from here is any one of the above names offering an apology they wouldn’t really mean anyway. And we certainly don’t need the energy vampires - to borrow a phrase from Dave Graney - and the pretend moral do-gooders in the media to opine that it is all too unsavoury.

05:23 Mins
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Dimma's stinging Ox whack, Power trouble, Howe's high hopes

Nat Edwards with all the latest footy news

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St Kilda

IF ...

the Saints were badly outpointed and outplayed against the Cats in round 11 ...

THEN ...

their response versus Essendon last Sunday was perfect. Fact: they're ready for their toughest test of the year – the Lions at the Gabba on Sunday. Unknown: are they actually good enough?

05:24 Mins
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Highlights: St Kilda v Essendon

The Saints and Bombers go head to head in round 12

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Sydney Swans

IF ...

the Swans and the AFL were right to hit Elijah Taylor very hard with a season-ending ban for his COVID-19 regulations breach ...

THEN ...

they are also well aware he needs, and deserves, some slack to be cut, now that he has genuinely apologised. Life hasn’t been easy at times for Taylor. His club will help him through this, provided he does the right things from here.

West Coast Eagles

IF ...

the Eagles will be without midfield guns Redden and Yeo (again) ... 

THEN ...

they will be more vulnerable against a now-desperate Giants on Sunday than some people realise.

Western Bulldogs

IF ...

Naughton kicked six and the Dogs won by 57 points to break a three-match losing streak ... 

THEN ...

that's nice. But it was against Adelaide. We'll know more about the Dogs on Saturday, when they play Melbourne. Bont versus Trac. Bring it on.

01:36 Mins
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Enjoy Bontempelli lighting up your telly

Marcus Bontempelli chimed in with a typically inspired performance against the Swans

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AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

it's still a guess, and will be until Gill officially tells us in the next fortnight after he's analysed Grand Finals bids from Queensland, WA, SA and even NSW ...

THEN ...

here's my latest: a bye after round 18, and a night Grand Final on Saturday, October 24, at the Gabba.