Melbourne coach Dean Bailey will tell us why the Demons will flog the Tigers at the 'G on Sunday ... possibly with his fingers' crossed.
Assistant coach predicts win
An unnamed Fremantle assistant coach will tell us why Freo will flog the Saints at the Docklands on Saturday ... almost certainly with his fingers crossed.
Assistant coach predicts win
West Coast assistant coach Daniel Metropolis etc etc.
Coach predicts win
Actually, Alastair Clarkson is probably moderately confident of the Hawks giving Port Adelaide a touch up, so he may not have his fingers' crossed. He will also almost certainly be suggesting to forward Mark Williams sometime before Saturday's clash at the MCG that he leaves the 'choke' gesture at home this time.
Good lord, another coach
Well look, it's Friday. This time it's Bomber Thompson, heading off on a whacking sortie over Adelaide way. Pip, pip.
Look, we warned you.
Adelaide's Neil Craig will tell us why Bomber Thompson's whacking sortie will fail.
Ok, last one
Phew. Choco Williams will tell us why the Hawks are vulnerable, and probably choke anyone who asks about the choking gestures that seem to have defined his coaching in recent years.
Lllllllloooooyyyddd!
Matty L, plus that nice Gary O'Donnell, will tell us why the Bombers have gone from being useless no-hopers to beating the once-upon-a-time third favourites for the flag in the space of one glorious week. And why they'll give the Roos a pasting.
On target
That's our Friday match specialist, Glenn 'Arch' Archer, who is three for three with his Friday night predictions so far this season.* Read it, or he'll come around to your house and 'speak' to you.
He had a Dream
Dr Dream Team – that medico of mirth, that surgeon of sarcasm – is rubbing his slightly grimy stethoscope this very minute, ready to apply it to the appropriate regions of those Dream Teamers silly enough to send him questions and expect sensible advice. Ask him where he's coming! Go on.
Jolly good time
He's having a corker of a year, is Darren Jolly, who has made many a Dream Team coach go to bed with that warm and squishy feeling that comes with having a possession-machine running around in the ruck. Big Daz is ready for his 100th game for the Swans – surely there's an omen for another 100-plus DT day!
In the box
Okay, we said we were done with coaches, but Brisbane Lions assistant Adrian Fletcher has penned us a lovely little piece about taggers, and how they have turned into sheep dogs. Sort of.
Footy
The Lions and the Pies at the Gabba, Friday night prime time. Voss v Malthouse. Our own columnist Lethal in the television commentary box. The unequalled Match Centre right here at afl.com.au. What more could you ask for? Except, perhaps, a choc top.
*Not true, but we're scared of him.
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
