EMBARRASSED Geelong midfielder Steven Motlop says it was hard to watch his teammates being thrashed by Fremantle while he was serving a club-imposed ban on Sunday.
Motlop was suspended for drinking alcohol at a local football match in Colac on Good Friday, three days before the Cats' 62-point round-one belting from Hawthorn.
The gun on-baller was his side's best player in their season-opener and amassed 32 possessions, but his teammates caught wind of his indiscretion when he was taunted by some Hawks players during the match.
Geelong omitted the 24-year-old for round two after he failed to meet expected preparation standards, and Motlop told the club's website it was tough watching from the coaches box as the Dockers outclassed the Cats by 44 points.
"I couldn't be out there and it was extremely hard to watch," Motlop said.
"It's something I don't want to be known for; someone that's doing something like this.
"It was obviously very disappointing. We have expectations at our footy club that I didn't meet and I'm extremely embarrassed.
"I let my teammates down and our fans as well. I'm trying to move on now.
"I'm very disappointed and extremely sad."
The Cats sorely missed Motlop's class and run against Freo, as they slumped to the bottom of the ladder following their first 0-2 start to a season since 2004.
After the loss, Geelong coach Chris Scott suggested Motlop wasn’t a given to return for the crucial game against stuttering Gold Coast at Simonds Stadium in round three, but Motlop is desperate to atone if given the chance.
"My teammates have been supportive and hopefully I can get out there and earn their respect," he said.
"My teammates have been really supportive. They've been really great and I'm really looking forward to getting back onto the park hopefully this week and repay them.
"(Gold Coast are) a great young side. We haven't had the best start to the year, but we're still confident and I'm confident in my teammates and this club as well.
"I'll be getting back out on the park and giving everything I can."